The story of a Couple and What come out of it

Ada seorang perempuan bernama N hidup di dunia ini, hidup seperti mana perempuan2 lain yg sama usia dgnnya. Dia baru habis sekolah, hidup keluarga pun susah jd xdpt nk teruskan pengajian tinggi. Maka dia cuma mencari duit dgn mencari kerja. Ini kisah pula hanyalah kisah cinta dia. Sebelum ini, dia hanya ada beberapa 'cinta monyet' dengan beberapa lelaki, tetapi smuanya tidak serius dan hanya utk mainan shja. Sampai satu masa dia bertemu dgn seorg lelaki ni, cinta sejati dia. Bak kta org putih, "First Love". Mereka jatuh cinta dan perhubungan mereka sampai masing2 telah berfikir ttg masa depan mereka bersama, hidup bersama, mendirikan rumah tangga. Kerana semuanya adalah masa yg tepat dan sesuai sekali. Si jejakanya 'handsome', kaya, kerja stable...manakala yg perempuannya pula sudah ada kerja stable dan ada duit simpanan, cantik dan sexy pula, pandai berfashion. Model kebaya pulak masa time tu.

Tetapi jodoh dan takdir semuanya di tangan Allah SWT. Disebabkan perbezaan background dan family diorg, mereka terpaksa dipisahkan. Kluarga sebelah perempuan tidak suka dgn kluarga lelaki, anggap org kaya smuanya sama, takut lepas kahwin nnt laki carik bini baru & blah3. Kluarga lelaki plak xsuka dgn kluarga belah prempuan krna standard xsama. Bayangkan anda msh bercinta melekat mcm magnet, tetapi terpaksa ditarik lari....sakitnya hanya Tuhan yg tahu. Maka si perempuan pun sgt lah sedih. Sehingga pernah terfikir nak bunuh diri, dan skit lg nak lari dr rumah, kahwin lari tetapi abg2 nya sempat menangkap beliau dan bwk dia balik rmh, dan di pukul, agr x memalukan nma kluarga.

Selepas tu....walaupun dia hanya mampu melupakan lelaki idamannya itu, life must go on. Dia teruskan bekerja dan jumpa beberapa org lelaki yg berminat dgnnya. Lumrah bercinta, ada sorg laki ni penipu...sorg lagi a cheater. Tp dia x penah hiraukan sgt bila bab bercinta. Bila laki tu dah xmau dgn dia, dia let go. Mungkin dia telah belajar dr cinta pertamanya tentang perihal cinta.

Dalam masa yg sama, seorg lelaki telah menunggunya selama 3 tahun utk lbeh mengenalinya lbeh rapat. Lelaki ini sering kali pergi ke kedai runcit bapanya hanya utk berjumpa dgn perempuan idamanua. Sampai satu masa, lelaki ini datang kedai runcit itu teramat lah lmbt smpai kedai nk tutup. Utk dijadikan alasan, dia ckp mak dia nk mkn rojak, jd dia beli SEMUA rojak yg tinggal. Padahal lepas tu dia bg kt smuaorg utk kongsi2 mkn, & dlm msa yg lama, mencari perempuan itu, hanya utk berjumpa dgnnya. Abg dia ckp, "Aaahh, layan sudah!" Maka dia pun melayan laki ni, diorg bercakap2, pasal kehidupan, psl kluarga msg2, dan bak kta org, "the suddenly clicks".

Lepas tu diorg mula membuat janji temu, kluar bersama2 smpai satu masa laki tu ckp nk bawanya jumpa org tua. Paham2 laaa maksud...:) Dia berfikir kpd dirinya. The truth is, this woman doesn't love this man as much as he loves her. But perasaan sayang and care tu ada. But would you not accept the man who loves you when u dont love them? Dia berfikir....Kalau jodoh dah ditakdirkan dia berkahwin dgn lelaki ini, perkahwinannya akn berjalan lancar sehingga akhir masa. Jika tidak, Allah Wa'lam...Dia berserah kpd takdir...dan takdir membawanya ke jalan yg betul. Akhirnya perempuan ini berkahwin dgn lelaki ini, walaupun dia tidak "crazily in love" dgn lelaki ini, tetapi dia adalah jodohnya dan dia harus menerimanya. Kerana Nabi sendiri berkahwin dgn wanita utk menolong mereka, dan bukan atas dasar cinta sepenuh jiwa. Sekarang, mereka masih lagi hidup bersama, walaupun pertelingkahan besar sudah tidak terkira banyaknya terjadi dlm kehidupan mereka, tetapi mereka cekal hidup bersama, dengan perasaan sayang dan care that keep them together.

Dlam cerita di ats, aku telah byk belajar drpdnya.
1. Satunya adalah Cinta tidak akan berkekalan, tetapi Sayang, ya....sampai ke kiamat pun tidak akan pudar jika trust dan tanggungjawab tu ada. Dalam Psychology pun ada ckp, a relationship that is based on love doesnt last, but a relationship that is based on companionship and friendship does.

2. Jodoh ditangan Tuhan. Ya, memang semua org tahu tu. Tapi dr sini aku belajar bhwa camna pun kta bercinta teruk2, bercinta dgn motto "I'll die without you", tidak akan kemana jika bukan jodoh. Tgk jela crita diatas. Mereka sudah merancang hndak hidup brsama, semuanya dah ckup. Tetapi takdirnya bukan dgn lelaki itu, maka dibuatkan cerita jadi msalah, kluarga pulak yg menghalang kan? Haa...sbnrnya, sudah 20 tahun berkahwin, perempuan itu bertemu juga dgn first love nya dulu. Tetapi dia bertindak rasional bila laki tu ajk "catch up". Dan ini mbawa kpda pelajarann ke 3.

3. Pentingnya Rasional, tidak kira dlm percintaan mahupun Kehidupan. Aku mula belajar utk menggunakan rasional, otak dan logik dlm kehidupan ini dan percintaan agar ku bahagia. Aku belajar bukan saja dr crita ni, juga dr experience, dr kesakitan hati dan dari kekuatan jiwa ku menangani masalah. Kerana aku dapati dan telah merasai betapa seksanya hidup jika dibelenggu dgn emosi. Aku belajar yang membiarkan emosi menguasai kehidupan dan pemikiran serta pemilihan hidup, akan membuat kta binasa. Kerana ikt kpda science jgk, hati x wujud! haha...hati adalah hempedu dan hempedu kta xde perasaan kan? :) Jadi gunalah otak.

4. Independence. Benda ni TERAMATLAH penting utk diri sendiri, especialy bg perempuan. (Notice how I bold the word?) Sbb apa yg ada seorg aunty ni ckp kt aku wlauapun dia bkn aunty aku, tp apa dia ckp sgt menolongku. Dia ckp, kita harus independen, depend kpda diri sendiri, sbb tu pentingnya pelajaran jgk. Klau lah satu hari nnt dh brkahwin, laki org shh, awk jugak yg bg nafkah dgn adanya pelajran dn ur independency. Klau tiba2 laki awk mati ke, atau worst, tinggalkan awk...apa yg awk ada klau awk depends ngn org lain? Itu la pentingnya independen dan pelajaran.......

5. Aku belajar perihal lelaki. I found out about this: "A man wants to be with woman that makes them feel like man." Xpyh gtau la mana dpt, mgkin dr org lain, mgkin dari.....anyway, lelaki xsuka bila perempuan tu needy dan worry about the relationship too much rather than enjoy the relationship.....Aku belajar benda tu skit skali dan harap2 dpt buat apa yg ptut dr apa yg dipelajari ni...krana ianya utk kebahagiaan diri sendri jgk.

Aku skrg da tekad utk berubah. Berubah bukan kerana sebab2 tertentu. Tetapi semuanya utk kebahagiaan sendiri. Org ckp, Love yourself first before you love someone else. I am determined to find out the real me, what I really want in life, and what I can come out of it. Dan pada masa yg sama, niat yg kuat dihati, dan berserah segalanya kepada Tuhan yang Maha Esa. Kerana niat + usaha + berserah kpd takdir membawa kpd kebahagiaan dan kejayaan hidup. (Satu lg benda yg aku bljr)

Aku akhiri dgn ucapan InsyaAllah, dgn takdirNya aku menjalani kehidupan ini ke jalan yg lurus dan betul.

Dear You...

Dear you...

You have made my life wonderful, colorful and beautiful...

After you came into my life, you added the chapter in my story...

You open my eyes about everything...how wonderful music is...how the world evolves around succesful people...how we should appreciate other's pengorbanan...how we should love our parents and balas jasa diorg seadanya...

I never could have dream how bahagia my life is that time.

Hidup I penuh bermakna dgn you ada disisi. You bagi I lebih banyak berfikir about the world, the people around me and everything...

I thought I could never found someone that have a lot in common with me, with the way we think, our opinion about some things or music or anything for that matter....even though we do have differences, but I take that differences as an experience for me to get to know you better, and to get other reviews than mine...and so do you I guess.

You love me the way I am...You share about your life to me...You have your own cute way in expressing things or buat muka at anything...You don't even care how I look whether messy or pretty....You are really gentle with girls, especially me, couldn't hurt me even once....You are passionate at things you love the most...You know how to layan me at certain times, eventhough you say you are not a gentleman, you are...And for all of this and much more, I appreciate everything that you've done...and I love you for that.

And I did everything for you to do just that...to show that I love you too, I appreciate everything you did.

Even though you have weaknesses, things that Idon't like you to do... but if anyone asked me right now what you hated the most about him? I would say I hated him because he makes me fall in love with him. Because all those weaknesses that he have, just makes him...as himself...the way I know him..the way I like him...the way I love that I him.

Somehow fate has brought us apart, and I redha dgn ketentuan itu. You hurt me inside, you break my heart apart...You took my heart and shred it into pieces...but why would you want to step on it and rub it to my face?

I have accomplish a lot in my life, I made myself as who I am today...don't you say I am just depending on others to live...I am a strong girl, I know when I fall down, I have to get up once more and started running again.

What do you really want in your life? What do you really want? Well, I know what I want in life. And I will accomplish it. To forward in my lifelong dream wouold be a dream come true...and being with you just the added bonus. I am totally not using anyone to fulfill my dream. I am standing on my own, I just have to win the 'awards' along the way to the top. Whatever the awards may be (have a lot of best friends, loving boyfriend, have my own car, being rich).

Would you do the same? I want you to be happy my dear. I don't want you to be stuck in the middle, not knowing what to do next, getting yourself influenced by your messed up friends (yes, they are mostly messed up, sorry...) and couldn't live your dreams. You have a great potential in your life, you dream big, and that's what I like you the most. I love hearing all your dreams and ambition...because it fired up the passion in me too to be succesful in life. Thank you for that.

You know what, seeing you being happy, getting up after you fall down, ignoring other obstacles that is unneccessary, would make me be a much happier person too.

Yeah, I may be not the one who understand you the most...I may not be the person who you like the most at this moment. But it's the same for us too...You said I didn't look at the way you live at other places, and it is the same as me. You didn't look the way I live with others yet... Yeah, I guess we both didn't take the real time to understand each other....and that is okay for me.

The thing about you are the reasons of everything in my life. Yes, before this and after that too. Right now, right here...If I make one decision, it is because of you. If I stay...it is because of you. If I leave, it is also because of you my dear. I am afraid I would get hurt again. That's why the reasons become like that.

Well....

I just hope that you will get what you want in life and have a happy wonderful life...

Sincerely,

Determined

Dissapointed

I am feeling really dissapointed on someone. Really really dissapointed that, that someone would say something like that. Before that thing happened, that someone don't act out like that. Now I'm like a piece of shit to that someone. I feel like a shit when I'm with that someone. When I tell that someone what its really feel like, that someone practically ignores it and doesn't take the matter seriusly. Worst, that someone take it as if I'm the one who got the problem who always blabs about this. I'm not. I did but I'm just feeling unhappy. Really unhappy. Disspointed.

Merapu dgn tajuk lagu

RULES:
1. Put your winamp,iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. Write down the song name no matter how silly it sounds.
4. Have Fun! :D

1. IF SOMEONE SAYS 'ARE YOU OKAY' YOU SAY?
::Where is the love?? (BEP)

2. HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?
:: Slow down baby (Christina aguilera)

3. WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
:: Heels Over Head (BLG)

4. HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
:: Unwell (Matchbox Twenty)

5. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
:: Cant Get u Outta My head (Kylie Mynogue)

6. WHAT'S YOUR MOTTO?
:: Goodnight & Goodbye (Metrostation)

7. WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
:: Take your sweet time (jesse mccartney)

8. WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
:: Losing Grip (Avril Lavigne) WEYH!!! Hahahha

9. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
:: Life after lisa (BFS) ->Im still not over her ok...haha

10. WHAT YOU ALWAYS DO DURING TAKE 5?
:: Graduation (Vit C) Wahahaha!!

11. WHAT IS 2 + 2?
:: Trucker Hat (BFS) [Aku bodo doe...haha]

12. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
:: Love Story (Taylor Swift) [Agak btol la kot.haha]

13. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
:: Dead and Gone (T.I ft Justin) [Bangang tol..ahah!]

14. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
::Complicated (Avril Lavigne) [Aish, cam tau2 je.haha]

15. WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
:: You better pray (the red jumpsuit apparatus)

16. WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
:: Heartbreak (Will.i.am)

17. WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
:: Amnesia (Britney spears)

18. WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
:: Love Stoned (Justin Timberlake)

19. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
:: Hurt (Christina Aguilera) [haa...btol2]

20. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
:: Stick With You (PCD) [WAHAHAH!]

21. WHAT DO YOU WANT RIGHT NOW?
:: What I've done (linkin park)

22. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
:: This I promise u (n'sync)

23. WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
:: Hot Stuff (Ashlee Simpson)


Opening Credits:
: Right round (flo rida)

Waking Up:
: ocean avenue (yellowcard)

First Day At School:
: Im leaving on a jet plane (Ape tah nma...)

Puppy Love:
Misery Business (Paramore) [Wa la weyh]

Fight Song:
: Somewhere I belong (linkin park) [wah, best2]

Breaking Up:
: Life is wonderful (jason mraz) [hahahahha!]

Prom:
: Shut up (bep)

Life is Good:
: Whoa Oh Me Vs Everyone (Forever the sickest)

Driving:
: Callin u (Outlandish)

Flashback:
: Wish we were older (metrostation)

True Love:
: Im just a kid (simple plan)

Wedding:
: La la land (demi lovato)

Moment of Triumph:
: Roller Coster (blink 182)

Death Scene:
: First Time (lifehouse)

Funeral Song:
: Dangerous to know (hilary duff)

End Credits:
: I hate this song (secondhand serenade)

Being sarcastic & mean (another survey)

Objective: Are you mean and sarcastic? Have you ever answered people ‘meanly’ and sarcastically? If yes, show us how mean and sarcastic you are! If no, then you should try at least once in your life with this note.

Rule: Respond to these as sarcastic/mean as you could.
(YR stands for Your Response.)

If an annoying person says:
1) I am cute.
YR:Im cuter...

2) I am the most beautiful/handsome:
YR: In the category of most hideoust person.

3) See, everyone likes me because I am rich and famous!
YR: Wop, u got that wrong cuz I hate u

4) Unlike you, I am perfectly multi-skilled. I do everything very well from sports to academic thingy..
YR: Can you do the multi ape face too?

5) You don’t know me? I am Bruneian artist; I have albums.
YR: Urgh...ur wasting my time

If an annoying hot woman/man says:(if hes really2 hot)
1) I know you like me.
YR: I know u like me too.. :P

2) What are you looking at? I am not interested in you!
YR: Sorry, I was looking at ur hideous slickiest I-dont-wash-it-for-a-week hair.

3) Sorry, you are nice but seriously not my type!
YR: Who says ur my type too?

4) UNLESS you are rich, then don’t dream that I will get a ride with you!
YR: I dont have a car bitch

5) Look, I am pretty/handsome; I can make people hate you!
YR: Really? Im impressed....*Wat muke sarcastic

If an annoying extremely ugly woman/man says:(if hes really ugly)
1) I think you and I can make a good couple.
YR: I think you and my handicapped cat with one eye can make a good couple

2) May I have your cell phone no? please please please?
YR: Sorry, phone aku rosak

3) Hi, wanna hang out? I want you to be with me the whole night..
YR: I'd rather be with a one-eyed monster

4) What do you like about me?
YR: Eeeee...geli!

5) I want you to say that I am pretty/handsome and you like me sooooo much!
YR: MOTIF??

If your enemy says:
1) Hi bitch!
YR: Hi Motherfucka!

2) You smell like shit!
YR: You smell like horse shit

3) What an ugly creature you are!
YR: Aww...thanks..you too...

4) I am going to kick your ass in this race for sure!
YR: Im going to kick ur nut then...:D

If your annoying ex says:

1) I still love you...
YR: So?

2) I know you still love me!
YR: Haram!

3) Please, go back with me honey/hubby..
YR: When hell freezes over

4) Please call me...
YR: Tepon aku xdpt call num kau jela...aku pun xtau nape.

5) The break up hurt me so much..
YR: Rasa ape ek?

If an annoying salesperson says:
1) Wow! You are so pretty/handsome!
YR: I know

2) Seriously, I used this product and I've Changed!
YR: Changed into what?

3) We are giving a discount up to 50%!
YR: Aku nmpak la tag die buduh

4) This one is good sir/madam. Buy sir/madam, buy..
YR: X tanya pun???

My Dream Guy (A random Survey)

1. Do you need him/her to be good looking?
•Not really.

2. Smart?
• Bleh la kot. Smart intellectually and mentally

3. Preferred age?
• Doesnt matter really.

4. Preferred height?
• taller of coz

5. How about sense of humor?
• Could make me laugh for hours until tears come out..haha

6. How about piercings?
• no way!

7. Accepts you for who you are?
• Definitely. For rights and wrongs

8. Pink hair?
•Bgus aku mati..haha

9. Mushy or no?
• Mushy? ape tu?

10. Thin or fat?
• Sdap di peluk...ngahah!

11. Black, Brown or White (skin color)?
• Ada biru x? hahaha...ala, xksah lgsg psl kulit.

12. Long hair or short hair?
• Short but bushy...mmmmm...delicious

13. Plastic or metal?
• Mende ni? haha

14. Smells good?
• Wajib..haha

15. Smoker?
• Aku padat rokok tu dlm mulut dia..huh! katakan tidak kpd rokok!

16. Drinker?
• xpyh nk ckp ag la. Tolak trus..haha

17. Girl/Boy-next-door type?
• Lelaki sblh pintu? hahah...bleh la kot.rupa yg innocent2 skit

18. Muscular?
• Mcm vin diesel? hahahah...ala, bdn yg sdap2 pun ok

19. Plays piano?
• Ooohh, bleh minx ajar? haha..bleh ajer

20. Plays bass and/or acoustic guitar?
• i hate instruments

21. Plays violin?
•Yg ni agk jiwang r..xpyh r...

22. Sings very good?
• Slh satu factor la kot

23. Vain?
• I think Im the vain one

24. With glasses?
• Bleh la kot

25. With braces?
• no..

26. Shy type?
•not really. coz i oredy teh shy one maa...nnt sorg2 pun xleh nk ckp.hahah

27. Rebel or good boy/girl?
• 90% devil, 10% angel...hahah... (stgh2 r...haha)

28. Active or passive?
• active

29. Tight or bomb?
• Uuuhhh..TIGHT!haha

30. Singer or dancer?
•singer

31. Stunner?
• yep

32. Hiphop?
• hip hop is quite ok..asl jgn pkai baggy2 teruk2 dgn sgla rantai2 bsr tu..ish

33. Earrings?
• dont la...xbleh jd imam nnt..haha

34. Mr/Ms. count-my-ex-boyfriend-unti

l-you-drop?
• wei, no la.

35. Dimples?
• sweet! yes...klo ada

36. Bookworm?
•dont mind

37. Mr/Ms. love letter?
• I'll love it

38. Playful?
• very.

39. Flirt?
• ahah..yeah

40. Poem writer?
• Klau bleh r

41. Serious?
• yep

42. Campus crush?
• tak la kot...nak serious...hehe

43. Painter?
•no ho ho ho

44. Religious?
• WAJIB

45. Someone who likes to tease people?
• bleh r skit2

46. Computer games geek? Or internet freak?
• not really

47. Speaks 20 languages?
• nuuhhh scary

48. Loyal or faithful?
• Both..haha

49. good kisser
• eeemmm...yeaaahhh..haha

50. loves children??
• totally...

25 things that i could randomly think about...

25 things that i could randomly think about...

1. I want nobody, nobody but you! (tgh nyanyi)

2. Mak aku

3. Bkak pose ngn family aunty ku yg sporting.hehe

4. Im so complicated..haha!

5. Blog aku ni cam bodo je...

6. Terasa ingin mencarut

7. Tgh berkeiginan untuk mendapat satu talent yg bleh rapping / berckp berkias2...haha

8. Storyboard nak buat ape ek? :)

9. Asal aku xdpt rezki ag nk dpt kreta n laptop baru ek? haha

10. Mana pg lagu2 Jason Mraz yg best2 dlm laptop ni? aarrggghh!!

11. Malas la nk buat journalism.huh *Muke malas*

12. Internet line agk slow ye kengkawan

13. Ni buat entry ni sja je xde life katakan...xde life slpas kul 12 r.haha

14. Yay lusa puasa!

15. Yay x lame lg raye! baju raye ku dh siap lom ek? haha

17. Kuih raye ape la mak aku masak nnt? eeeiii, sronotnya!

18. Adik aku bangang

19. Roommate aku tetiba je mengigau dn berckp spt..."Jgn ikut diorg wei.." uih, tkot...haha

20. Bladder aku ni pecah ke asyik nk kencing je? haha

21. Bedak sjuk ni busuk r...:(

22. Ada 2 tin coca cola yg sedang menarik perhatianku sbb diorg adlh antara tin2 dan botol2 ksong yg blom dibuang.hahah! pemalas...

23. Rasa nk buat crita novel baru la. skali lg berdasarkan love story tp inspirasi blom dpt lg neh

24. Slua aku basah siot! ni smua sbb bladder x ckup nk tampung r ni. huh

25. Gigih nak balik! hahahahahahah

What happen when you were unheard?

Aku terasa agk geram & frustrated ptg ni...sbb kadang2 ni, org bukannya nk dgr ckp kte. Kdg2 diorg mmg buat2 x dgr, tp ada kalanya mmg pekak nauzubillah.huh...

Bygkan dlm situasi begini yg membuatku panas aje...

aku: berckp dgn seorg laki brnama T
T:brckp
*tetiba seorg bdk ni nma A dtg pggl T.*
A: Wei, T, ko dh ada kump lom utk class ....(xbleh dinyatakan.haha)
T:xde la...
Aku menyampuk: Ha! A! I nk u msk kump i jom...
*A tgk kjp kt aku den pndg T blik*
A: Aku mls r nk sma2 kump ag ngn bebudak tu...
Skali lg aku menyampuk: I pun nk crk kump ni..mls nk kump ngn org yg sma
T: Aku pun sma gk. Ko xde kump kn? jom r sma.
A: Ha, tu la.Ok...kte sma2 ek
Aku: I pun nk crk kump baru gk........
A:Habeh spe lg 2? die nk 4 kan?
T: Si S r pe gi...
Aku: I nk kump gk la.....
A:Sape lg sorg?
Aku: hummmpphhh...
T:Tu....(menunjuk kt sorg classmate)
A: Ha...ok gak..orite r...

Ok, paham kan situation ini. Aku macam tunggul kat situ...and clearly dh ckp nkkan kump baru...Adoyai, kdg2 laki ni sgt2 la oblivious. Xnmpk, xpaham pape pun...hish..sakit ati gak r...
bygkan la cube dlm situation ni..panas je...huh!
Pdhl awl2 td da mengajak si A kn yg aku nk brkumpulan ngn die...huh...xpaham2 r... Klo xnk tu ckp jela...tp setahu aku, 2 org tu xde mslh lgsg ngn diriku ni..haha...
ntah la...

nden pastu....T n me pg la mkn...sbnrnya aku puase tp nk ikt kwn2 lain mkn. kdai mkn tu dkt je ngn U ktorg n ada 1 jam lg nk maghrib. So, aku ckp la kt T, juz utk bgtau for a fact je..
"Eh, klo kte pg ke bndr ke ape ke, sng ag..sbb kta mgkin akn smpai kul 7 so bkeh tggu mknn dlm stgh jam lg...xyah r tggu lme2."
Pastu tetibe T ckp, "Eeeeiii....mana satu ni...nk pg klua ke cni?" sumthing like that la... tp agk membuatkan kte terasa r..sape x terasa..bygkn, klo ko tgh ckp innocently kan, den die buat expression mcm die dh menyampah kt kte membebel...x terasa ke cmtu? aku trus terdiam. Nak ckp ag pun da ilang trus mood, nk gduh ngn die kt public plak. Tkut gk sbb kdg2 aku ni xdpt kwl suara...haha...And then kan, die ckp bleh je klo nk pg tpt lain & kte same2 tggu r smpai 7.30...aku yg dh terilang mood pastu mmg pun nk mkn ngn kengkawan, dh x terjwb soalan die tu...so aku klua la jln2 jap nk tngkn diri n bli sumthing kt 7E. Bler aku msuk balik, aku tgk die da mkn! stgh abis plak tu! Eh, td ckp bleh jer nk bwk aku mkn tpt lain...aku xckp pape pun yg aku nk mkn sni ke x...die suke suki je order mknn n makan. xpikir lgsg psl kte. N kte pg menghilang xmencarik pun aku ktne..juz bg sms tye ktne je. Klo aku klua n kena lggar lori ke ape ke, aku rsa die akn teruskan mkn je n xksah lgsg smpai aku jwb sms die.HUH! Mkin la aku sakit ati tgk die mkn. Dh la x hormat lgsg org tgh pose, xminx jemput mkn pun. Td serious die ckp nk tman skali mkn, tggu skali...ish...dasar laki...xtau r nk ckp ape.

Hari ni terasa mcm dibangangkan aje. Fells like a fool today. FUCK.

Still a dream....

You see, I have this fantasy about having so much money and i would spent one whole day shopping till I drop...literally...

If I could...these are a few of the things that I'd like to buy..just look at how cute these things are...well, mostly, it comes from Roxy but I'd like to have MNG, ELLE, and so much more of the clothes...heheh..

.

AAAHHH..THE BEST SEDUCTION OF ALL...NEW AND GORGEOUS STUFF.

Blast Day...My Birthday!

On 17 June 2009, I turned 19 years old. Not old enough for me to feel mature though. My friends and I had planned to have a picnic at Matang Family Park (Sungai Cina, under the Serapi Mount). First, all of my friends, Syidah, Fiq, Rathy, Hazim and Bai, along with her cousin, Bang Buck who will be our 'guidance' / tour guide / driver. Hahaha..poor him...but anyway, we took off from my house when all of them arrived there around 10 am. Me & Syidah were in teh car with Bai and Bang Buck, & Bang Buck as our tour guide, he told us all the story abt old history of some village we passed on, some creepy japanese war or something and ok, I should stop. It was fun, ut let's move on.

We arrived around 10.45 am and we took our spot which is so far away from the public. The place was incredibly beautiful (but not for some sampah people left there) and there was a few small waterfalls there. There's also like a small pool yg semulajadi terbentuk oleh batu2 besar kt situ and it was a perfect spot for us to swim. What's with ada akar dr pokok utk ktorg gayut2 n terjun dlm air.hahahhaha...We swam for awhile, enjoying ourselves. The water was FREEZING! Seriously! I only went into the water for abt 15 minutes then Im out of there. By the time Im out, evryone wanted to eat since it was already lunch time.

So we ate everything that we brought (sandwich, puding, snacks, coke & pepsi, mineral, bihun) because we're kinda hungry...hehe...While eating, we made a lot of jokes...seriously, nak pecah perut gelak x abeh2...well, practicaly, the whole time I was there, I was laughing, laughing, laughing and oh yeah! Laughing! Hahahhaha....

Ok, so then, Syidah, Hazim, Fiq n Rathy went back to swimming. Well, Fiq n Rathy were dating the whole time...hahah...while Bai n I really couldnt stand the water,we picked a great big rock for our spot n sunbathed! Hahaha... But it was not for long as suddenly Bang Buck walked away from us and explore the rest of the river. And we were curious so we followed! All of us except Rathy n Fiq. We had so much fun exploring the place. With so many slippy big rock, and great spots for photoshooting, it was a very beautiful place. Finally at the end of our exploration, we found another bigger waterfall and took a lot of pictures there. But apparentsly since tpt tu x byk org dtg, tpt tu pnuh dgn binatang yg I plg GELI!!! I found Katak...I SCREAMED! I found small fishes surrounding my legs...I SCREAMED! I found A big, long lipan n I almost scream..heheh... But it was fun though...Malu2 mmg malu pas menjerit but it was a memory yg menggelikan yg xdpt dilupakan..hahha...

So yeah, we tried to swim at the 'pool' of the bigger waterfall then but the dasar was too licin n there's so many fishes! hahaha..Then my darling Donut calls...Im so glad he called...cuz im missing him while im having all these funs with my frens...hehhe

Then Rathy called dr ulu sungai sruh ktorg balik coz fiq terpksa blik awl. Die nk ambk adik skolah kot..huhuh..so then we went back to our spots, kira nak berkemas tp skali guess what?

I turned around and suddenly the girls are throwing FLOUR at me!!! AAhhh!!! I baling balik tepung tu kt diorg and we laughed so much at each other for being white and ghostly..hahah... Bang Buck even perli Rathy dh mcm NENEK KLIWON sbb rmbt putih! Ngahahahahak!!! We laughed so hard at that.. I mean, supposedly nenek kebayan, tp tetiba nenek keliwon..ngahahhaha...xpasal2...

So then we have to wash ourselves again n swin for awhile to get rid of the flour yg mlekat2... Then...well, biasa la, kemas2..balik...then it's like so early for us who dont want to go home early, and we decided to go carik makan...so we just follow Bang Buck's lead..we are quite tired so we just follow n keep quiet in the car..Bang Buck said he will bring us to Pasir Pandak, another pantai at the other side of the world...hehehe..so we went there...n when we're almost there, we found out that Rathy, Fiq n Hazim r not following behing n they said that they decided to go back home. So we continue our journey. Dh smpai, Bang buck nk ambk tmpt berteduh bwh pkok, skali pasir byk sgt, kreta pun lekat........hahaha..ktorg girls pun tolong la tolak smbl teyar berpusing2 dlm pasir..tayar tu seriously dh stgh terbenam..haha..tp akhirnya dpt gk dikluarkn.

Then at the beach, it's hot so we bassically have photoshoot of our own..on the trees...seriously, atas pokok! And on the beach n in the water...hehe...so, okay, after that we all went home...

And just when I thought the day was over, as tired as I was, I went for a birthday dinner with my family! Wow! My mom wanted to give me a white gold necklace cost RM1500 and above with it's pendant RM5OO and above for my gift. It's like sooo crazy! Im like, I wanted it but it's like so unworthy. I'd be wearing tudung the whole time & i cant even show off my 2000 pure white gold necklace..hahha....So I said I don't want the necklace but I want a broadband instead. It's much cheaper and I'd be using it a lot more than a necklace. So yeah, my mom was a bit down but it's easier on her pocket so she went with it...hehe..And I finally got my broadband!! weehooo...And we have dinner at Kenny Rogers..uurrhhhmmm....missing the juicyness of the chicken...haha...so yeah...that is all..I had a blast and also very tired. Happy Birthday To Me!!!

Better to Give than Receive

Was it worth it to buy someone a gift that cost me more than a hundred for a belated birthday gift? People might say it would be worth it if you want to make it up to him or her for forgetting his or her birthday. Hahahaha... Well I'm certainly not a person who forgets people's birthday. I even remembered my old school mates' birthday even though I'm sure she's forgotten me overall already by now. Well, anyway, for me it's worth it. Because why? I love to buy stuff for people. Seriously, I don't know why, everytime I went out, most of my money are spent on something that would probably for someone, or a thing that might be shared with someone or just to impress someone. You know, not the thing to impress myself or to satisfy myself. I don't know why. It's like a disease or something. Here's the fact: I LOVE BUYING STUFF FOR OTHER PEOPLE!!!!

For example the things I bought recently that connected with someone:
1.The PC dvd game I bought, for me and my sister
2.RM114 spent for birthday gift
3.Belanja kawan makan
4.Slipers & necklace for my friendsand others...

Why I love buying stuff for people? Because I love to watch their face when they get the gifts. I love the feeling of GIVING. And u know what other thing is... I want those stuff too. I love to receive gifts too. And when I know other people loves receiving gifts too, I give them the chance of being happy by receiving it from me! I just want the person to feel what I feel when I receive a gift. The feeling of touching, smelling and appreciating things we receive, things we don't have to buy and at the same time very pretty to the eyes...Whoooh..I just love the euphoria of receiving it. And of course, I love the euphoria of giving gifts too. It's like a drug that keeps me addictive... just LOVE it when they open up the gift I BOUGHT for them. Weeeheee... I just hope those people will appreciate it as much as I do If I were in their shoes...heheh..

Well, like the saying says, "It's better to give than receive"....or something like that. I don't remember...hahha...

Knape English, tak Melayu?

Knape aku buat blog ni dlm English, bukan melayu? Eh, jgn slh anggap. Ygni xde kna mngena ngn smgt patriotik...hahah... Mungkin org lain yg bca blog ni akn fikir, tau la die terer English an, xyah la nk tunjuk2 die pandai plak. Sbnrnya, xde niat pun nk tunjuk. Aku pun tau xde sape nk bca blog yg xde nilai ni (kcuali bg diri sendri...hahha). Aku tgk kebanyakan member2 yg lain smua tulis blog dlm bhsa ibunda, tp aku sorg je cmni...

Tp pada hakikatnya (ceh) ada beberapa sebab aku tulis dlm English dan bkn Melayu. Ok, aku ni org Sarawak, so basically, I have 3 language yg dh dipelajari. Bahasa Melayu Biasa, Bahasa Sarawak & Bahasa Inggeris. So, aku ada 3 pilihan nk tulis dlm bhsa apa. U see, klau aku nk tulis dlm bhsa Melayu, member2 Sarawak plak ckp, "Ko buat blog tu utk member2 semenanjung ko je ke?" <----- Contoh jela..hahha...

And then, kalo nk tulis blog dlm bhsa Sarawak plak, member2 kt semenanjung pnin kpla membaca, x paham pape! ngahahaha...ni la mslhnya...jd, for a safer bet, nk selamat la kan...buat la dlm bhsa Inggeris....

Sekian Terima Kasih....

Trust and Parents related

Ok, u noe how does it feel when your parents just don't believe in your potential or just give u teh trust in something? How does it feel? It's horrifyingly frustrating. Because it's the nature of children since at the tender age to get parents' attention and then put their trust and believe on the child.

Well, it happen to me all the time, and the feelings overwhelmed me SUCKS! It's about driving and cars. You see, our family have 2 cars and both of it are freakin' big and expensive! I almost got my chance of having a car on my own, but I missed it because I was concern with my mom's wealth as debts are around her waist and so does my dad. So I said I wanted a car but not neccesarry needed it in this time. Well, ok, I was being so nice, even a pushover to my parents. That didn't bother me at all but when I finally found out that we were having a new freakin car and its fortuner (!!!), I was like, WTF??!!! What about the debts? Why buy new one when u just offer me a car who SOO needed it and it's smaller n cheaper? Well, A 4-wheel drive with SUV like and it's big and expensive. Just adding the big-and-expensive car collection of ours. I mean, common!!!! Why do these people have to buy BIG cars which is not suitable for teenagers to drive? U see, I've gotten my license for a year and a half now and my sister is soon going to learn to drive. It kills me n my sis, KILLS us to have a driver license in our wallet but couldn't do anything about it! Like I just said, I've had the license for more than a year, I should be good with cars by now. But u noe what? I'm still scared of driving a car in a busy town. I still feel jittery all over when I get into a car, just like I first started driving. This is so UNFAIR!

Ok, when we got the car, I thought I got the chance of driving it. I mean, it's more compact n nice inside, with power sterring and all, it's much more easier than driving a mercedes (yea, one of our cars), eventhough it's big at the outside. I've had experience driving a merc, but I think it's hard.huhuhuhu, I donno. Ok, get back to story. So I thought I have a chance, BUT TEEETTT... SO WRONG! let me tell ya...

Ok, so finally I was given a responsibilty to send my sis to tusyen when my mom went off to KL. Before this she was talking about how easy the car was to drive than merc to me, so I can help with being a chauffer for my sis. So FINNALLY my mom trust me in this responsibility n believe I could do it, after more a year n a half of having a license. Trust me, it's pretty hard to get my mom's trust in doing something. Doubting me n my sis is her number 1 career. So then I told my dad abt I have to send my sis off n mom let me use Fortuner because it's easier,n if anything would happen, it wud be cheaper to repair since its a less expensive car than merc. But my dad insist on using fortuner bcuz i guess well, it's new n it's big n high, just his taste of car so it's kinda hard to get it off his hand.Ok, so then I use merc to send my sis off (even that I felt guilty since my mom didn't let me use it but when finally talk 2 her, she said ok, i was grateful she believe in me. THANX MUM!).

Then my frens n i planned to hang out n we need a car bcuz I guess we juz get use of not depending on parents anymore with cars n plus we need to get from one place to another (I need 2 buy things at diffrent place) so we really need a car. All my frens juz informed me their cars cannot be use that day, n it's depend on me. So I talked to my dad abt this.And just like I afraid it wud be, he didn't let me. He wud juz send me off tomorow instead. MY LORD!!! U noe what he said? That it wud be hard 4 me 2 drive it since it's too big n blah blah blah blah.........Im a fast learner, trust me. It's good that I have my mom's trust in this, but now it's my dad's trust I need 2 win. God God God!!

Ok, u noe, if we don't believe that person, are we going to let it away juz like that? U have to trust them to do the thing for just one time n let u see that she HAVE THE POTENTIAL to do it! Or else she'll never learn!!! Ok, I need a car really2 badly. Next time my parents talk abt cars, I wont be a pushover and be nice! I have to stand up for my rights! I'm sick of being the one who cannot drive, seriously. Well,if Im not being fair, those people that just doesnt have license, it's their choice of not driving. But I have a passion in driving (not passion in CARS ye sayang) bcuz since the age of where Im illegal to drive, I wanted to drive anywhere I like, have the freedom. And now I have the chance in it, give me a chance of learning to get use to it...seriously people! Arrggghhh...right now Im just Geram..ok...huh..

Birthday

Finally an event worth celebrating in my life with someone I really like, but I wasn't there to celebrate it. My brithday coming up too and I don't think i have the mood celebrating it. I mean, my boyfriend isn't going to be here, Hani and Syidah probably going to Johor and KL soon and Bai is going to further her study by this early June. And my birthday is on 17th June! I am going to just celebrate it with Rathy and Shahida, if Shahida could go out anyway. There's just no special people around me to give me gifts, hugs, kisses maybe, and just have fun, on my birthday. I wish so much I have all the people I love around me when I turn 19. And I want to be there too on their birthday. Especially my boyfriend's which is today. But all I could do was sit here and wondering what gift I would buy for him. And if I buy something, the gift will be sent late anyway. Not that the courier service could give it on the day itself. This is so frustrating. I love birthdays!!! But I can't celebrate it. Huk...

The Truth About Girls

The guy that I dreamed of:

1. Gentleman...open the door for me, pick me up whether we're walking or using car, not I have to walk to the car or to wait for him, offer something to me first although that is what he wanted, do anything to cover me from the rain, cold or hotness of the weather, and who tells me beautiful when I'm down and have low self-esteem.

2. Surprise me...not until I tell him what to do, do something special for me.

3. The first one to break the ice or talk when things have going downhill or bad, whether that's my fault or yours.

4. Would do anything to save the relationship, not do nothing and hope everything going alrite over time.

5. Try to change when we have argued about the situation, not do the same mistake again.

6. Doesn't interrupt me when I'm giving my feelings out or said anything. Not interrupting me and do the experiantial superiority, which is not listening to someone who doesn't have much experience as he is.

7. Consider the situation.

8. When I'm talking about my problems, I dreamed of a guy who doesn't reply with comparing his so-called 'good' experience or good situation - that is so annoying.

9. Take me not as a girl who is not capable of anything and weak mentally and physically, but as a girl who can do things she is sure she can, capable of anything mentally or physically.

10. Be my boyfriend and best friend, not only best friend where you can act sesuka hati.

If you do all this, I will do the same to you. Hmm, I think I have done all these things to the person I love as if I'm the guy. I'm a gentleman? Fyi, I'm a girl but I'm capable of doing this things.

I know I should LOVE ALL HIS WEAKNESSES but I WANTED TO FEEL SPECIAL, TO BE LOVED BY SOMEONE and reassure that I have his back if anything goes wrong. To show someone you love is not enough just by saying it out loud or show it physically by touching or whatever. Especially the touching. Touching people is essential but if it goes from love to LUST, that is another story. Show someone you love and care by doing the things for him/her, it shows you have commitment, ready to be there when things goes bad, and being a good friend for him/her.

I am pretty sure most girls would love the guys to do all these things to her. But sometimes the guys just don't buy it. They thought it's sappy and too romantic and it's not his style. It's too complicated or it's bruising their egos. Come on, man. Sape lg yg korg nk buat benda ni klau x dgn gf korg...right? If it humiliate u, nobody's watching, man, it's only her who knows you too well and would tell nobody but herself. If it's too romantic or sappy (jiwang), trust me, if you do it at least once in awhile, she will remember it forever. I remember the first time my bf open the door for me. That was months and months ago and I still appreciate every little, every tiny thing he does. But unfortunately he don't do that again (fuck). Girls can appreciate all that, all the tiny thing that shows you still care about her. She may not show it, of course nnt korg gk ckp die gedik, but deep in her heart, she wished you do it always, but not too often. If too often guys, I tell you, it can get freaky and annoying.

Every girl work differently with the world that surrounds her, including the people she loves. Some girls love romantic sappy things. Some girls are like guys, do the thing simple and no need for all those sappy things, some girls is so driven towards doing all the things herself, some girls are so independent they don't really need their boyfriend(haha!), some girls love all the little things that's enough to make she loves him. I am the girl who have almost all of the combination above. I love all the little romantic thing a guy does but not too many, I love to do things myself, I love simple but sweet things, I love all the small thing he did to me.

If you are not sure what type of girl your girlfriend are and want, being with her and learn how she react to the things you did, how she react to her life, that is who she is. Discover who she is, after all she make a fuss on things you didn't do, or things you overreacted. Discover what she wants by all that fuss. Don't put a blind eye and deaf ear, it will just make her furious even more. Sometimes the girls try to understand the guy and do the things he likes and don't expect to, why don't you, as a guy, do the honor of going for her and surprise her.

Seriously, having your ego as the barrier, and thinking you're a cool guy, or that thing just not your style...that really doesn't help anything. Change for a time or two to show her how you feel. Trust me, she'll remember you like she remember her own name. It's embedded to her mind.
Sincerely by someone desperately wanted to be loved.

Back to B

Finally! Aaaarrrgghhh!! Finally I'm back to B....I discuss this matter with the coordinator of our program (which was always difficult for everyone) and I almost lost my chance. Seriously...But I finally get it... Alhamdulillah.
These are why I want to go back to where I belong:

1. B is my family for a year now

2. B don't have clique and we're relax about everything. We're neutral.

3. B has its own uniqueness

4. B has all the people that I'm click with and all the people that I usually do work with

5. B don't fuss much about anything

6. We have great relationship with lecturers.

And now I guess for the next semester, the class will be more unique with more than half of it are new people or from C and it would be a whole lot different class than before.
Plus, there's my boyfriend in there and it would be a very new situation for me to study in the class. I don't know how I will adapt to the surrounding and how am I going to behave with him without everybody keep on 'pestering' on us. hehehe...
Good Luck class B!

The happy faces of the old B class. I don't know how the next B class will look like.

B to A????

Next semester, because of the shortage of lecturer for my course Mass Comm, all the class will be shuffled. And I just find out that I'm at class A!!! You see, I was at B for 1 year already and known all my classmates like family and now I have to adapt to new situation again. I cant bear that fact anymore, seriously. I had this experience happened to me when Im in form 4. It sucks so much, I suffered all through the year.

I really need to change my class, immediately! You know, this is my nightmare come true. Before, when I heard about the news, what I hoped for was Im not going to be part of class A. But now, it has all come true! Dammit! Before, too, I was looking forward to have new classmates, but I wasn't expected THIS! I wasn't expected to be the one that other classmates are looking forward to meet! Geddit? huh, nevermind.

I'm feeling utterly sad right now. I'm concern about my social and work communication (like my friend stated it) in that class. I mean, I heard that class is very quiet. Even lecturer said it was very, very quiet man. And I donno anybody there! How am I going to work in group in the future? Huh...I really don't know how my luck can be turned instantly like this. This is totally devastating.

Well, my way of solving it: I'd probably try to ask the coordinator to move me back to B. If that cant be done, my backup plan is going for class C, coz my bf is there. AT least I know someone to work with in the class. My last chance is, manipulate the computer system when Im registering myself - I'll put myself at B! Hahah... evil, I know but I cant do anything. Well, let's just see how my luck turn this thing around in the future. Finger crossed!

I Don't Know

OBJECTIVES:
To impress, To make proud, To help, To make things better, To feel better, To reduce, To increase.

OBSERVATION & FINDINGS:
The person who comes to the target (that’s me) is someone I love.
Come to me for some affection and to make things and maybe his feelings better.
But all I found out is these:

I don’t know how to impress the person.

I don’t know how to make the person proud.

I don’t know how to help the person in that situation.

I don’t know how to make things better for that person.

I don’t know how to make the person feel better.

I don’t know how to reduce the sadness, the angriness, the hatred in the person’s heart.

I don’t know how to increase the happiness and shine the light in the person’s heart.

RESULT:
Serious depression for both parties.

CONCLUSION:
I am a person who will be the name on the bottom of your list in finding for comfort and help. I don’t know anything about making people happy/better/joyful/laugh. I am such a waste.

Poem For You

The rain comes down as my tears followed
Sun doesn’t shine in my sight
You are the only thing that I wanted
But for little things you break me apart

I appreciated the things you’ve done for me
I thank you for that, for what God’s given me
But I can’t take it for what you made me inside
The feelings burning deep in my heart

I guess I can’t let one bad thing ruin the other good thing that happened
There are too many memories to give up hope to
So I sit here and waited for the feelings to wash away from me
So I can forgive myself, you and people surround me

I wanted the happiness to surround me
To fill me up like the air I breathe
I looked at the ring on my finger
Yes, it goes around in a circle, never ends
I hope it happens to us too
And I’ll let you be around me all the time
To remind me that you’re the person I really need all this time.

LAPAR!!!

Just wanna say...

I WANT KEROPOK!!! OR any snacks for that matter..hmmm...

Futuristic much?

Imagine in the future:

We don't have to turn any buttons for the TV, we just said what channels we want.

We don't have to drive at all! All cars equipped with GPS computer and we just said the exact place we want to go then the car bring us to it. (That would avoid accident I guess coz teh computer is driving for us!)

There are less traffic light. (Because I'm sick of stopping at red lights)

Laptops can be put in our pockets and handbags!

Internet is always very fast.

We will never have to go to school again because we all a personal computer robot as a teacher at home! we're actually home-schooled again.

If these happens.....
WE ALL WILL TURN FAT AND LAZY AND WE WILL BE STUPID

Seriously.
Fat because we don't use our muscle much. And of course that makes us lazy.
Stupid because we won't have to think a lot to do complicated things in the world!

Boring

I just realize my blog is boring. Biar la...bknnya ada org nk bca pun...huhuhu...It's just full of what I think so I let it out here. Tp jarang plak nk update. Haii...

Challenges

I just read a blog about a high school girl facing typical high school phenomena. High school is all about boyfriends, cliques, who gets the attention, who's teacher's pet, and of course, big exams. These high school girls doesn't realize, they are not in such a vain with their problem. There are much more problems and challenges outside of high school. You will face new people with different background that you have to adapt to their surroundings and respect, you will face new assignments and tasks which is much harder and complicated than school work, you will face much complicated and higher level of maturity in relationship whether with boys, best friends, classmates and even lecturers. Plus, you will have to make all the decision to yourself. From your clothes, to your money to what you eat, where to go, what to do and who to choose.
I learned all that after I left high school about 2 years ago. To compare my life with all the people that I knew and never wanted to know in school before, people that think they are too big and popular are practically unknown now. And if they try to take their attitudes back from high school to universities, they will never mature. But I guess, in university life, people start to change totally. I've changed a lot. Too much in such a short time. But I think it's good because there are poeple that I care and who cares about me are there to support me. I changed from the way I eat, my attitude, my respect to people, my view of my race, my view of the world, how I did my job, how i bring myself forward, how i dress, and how i communicate with people.
From the problem that I recently faced, I realizeda lot of things about respect. I need to respect people, yes. But people need to respect me too. Let's just say the problem start with the people think i don't respect them. I am angry of course because i didn't do anything. They ask me to respect them when they didn't respect me back. How am I suppose to respect them? People gain respect from other people, not ask them for it. Before I knew it, things have started to get worst. Miscommunication have started, threat has been flying away, gossips all around, uncomfortable was felt. Let me just say this one thing just to get it out of my chest. These people think they are too big and too mature to think that we should respect them instead of gaining it. Well, i don't really want to blab more about it. But we are still teenagers who is still learning to live our life. When adults have interfered, they know what to do and say and what the problem is all about. Thank God for that. The problems solved by communication and talking. This has made me realize that, I am still far too young to know what life is. Even adults who is already matured still doesn't know what life is sometimes, so for those out there who think they are so big and in high cliques, I suggest you rethink about your position as a small human in Allah's earth. Muhasabah diri. I will do that.