Friday, May 29, 2009

Knape English, tak Melayu?

Knape aku buat blog ni dlm English, bukan melayu? Eh, jgn slh anggap. Ygni xde kna mngena ngn smgt patriotik...hahah... Mungkin org lain yg bca blog ni akn fikir, tau la die terer English an, xyah la nk tunjuk2 die pandai plak. Sbnrnya, xde niat pun nk tunjuk. Aku pun tau xde sape nk bca blog yg xde nilai ni (kcuali bg diri sendri...hahha). Aku tgk kebanyakan member2 yg lain smua tulis blog dlm bhsa ibunda, tp aku sorg je cmni...

Tp pada hakikatnya (ceh) ada beberapa sebab aku tulis dlm English dan bkn Melayu. Ok, aku ni org Sarawak, so basically, I have 3 language yg dh dipelajari. Bahasa Melayu Biasa, Bahasa Sarawak & Bahasa Inggeris. So, aku ada 3 pilihan nk tulis dlm bhsa apa. U see, klau aku nk tulis dlm bhsa Melayu, member2 Sarawak plak ckp, "Ko buat blog tu utk member2 semenanjung ko je ke?" <----- Contoh jela..hahha...

And then, kalo nk tulis blog dlm bhsa Sarawak plak, member2 kt semenanjung pnin kpla membaca, x paham pape! la mslhnya...jd, for a safer bet, nk selamat la kan...buat la dlm bhsa Inggeris....

Sekian Terima Kasih....

Trust and Parents related

Ok, u noe how does it feel when your parents just don't believe in your potential or just give u teh trust in something? How does it feel? It's horrifyingly frustrating. Because it's the nature of children since at the tender age to get parents' attention and then put their trust and believe on the child.

Well, it happen to me all the time, and the feelings overwhelmed me SUCKS! It's about driving and cars. You see, our family have 2 cars and both of it are freakin' big and expensive! I almost got my chance of having a car on my own, but I missed it because I was concern with my mom's wealth as debts are around her waist and so does my dad. So I said I wanted a car but not neccesarry needed it in this time. Well, ok, I was being so nice, even a pushover to my parents. That didn't bother me at all but when I finally found out that we were having a new freakin car and its fortuner (!!!), I was like, WTF??!!! What about the debts? Why buy new one when u just offer me a car who SOO needed it and it's smaller n cheaper? Well, A 4-wheel drive with SUV like and it's big and expensive. Just adding the big-and-expensive car collection of ours. I mean, common!!!! Why do these people have to buy BIG cars which is not suitable for teenagers to drive? U see, I've gotten my license for a year and a half now and my sister is soon going to learn to drive. It kills me n my sis, KILLS us to have a driver license in our wallet but couldn't do anything about it! Like I just said, I've had the license for more than a year, I should be good with cars by now. But u noe what? I'm still scared of driving a car in a busy town. I still feel jittery all over when I get into a car, just like I first started driving. This is so UNFAIR!

Ok, when we got the car, I thought I got the chance of driving it. I mean, it's more compact n nice inside, with power sterring and all, it's much more easier than driving a mercedes (yea, one of our cars), eventhough it's big at the outside. I've had experience driving a merc, but I think it's hard.huhuhuhu, I donno. Ok, get back to story. So I thought I have a chance, BUT TEEETTT... SO WRONG! let me tell ya...

Ok, so finally I was given a responsibilty to send my sis to tusyen when my mom went off to KL. Before this she was talking about how easy the car was to drive than merc to me, so I can help with being a chauffer for my sis. So FINNALLY my mom trust me in this responsibility n believe I could do it, after more a year n a half of having a license. Trust me, it's pretty hard to get my mom's trust in doing something. Doubting me n my sis is her number 1 career. So then I told my dad abt I have to send my sis off n mom let me use Fortuner because it's easier,n if anything would happen, it wud be cheaper to repair since its a less expensive car than merc. But my dad insist on using fortuner bcuz i guess well, it's new n it's big n high, just his taste of car so it's kinda hard to get it off his hand.Ok, so then I use merc to send my sis off (even that I felt guilty since my mom didn't let me use it but when finally talk 2 her, she said ok, i was grateful she believe in me. THANX MUM!).

Then my frens n i planned to hang out n we need a car bcuz I guess we juz get use of not depending on parents anymore with cars n plus we need to get from one place to another (I need 2 buy things at diffrent place) so we really need a car. All my frens juz informed me their cars cannot be use that day, n it's depend on me. So I talked to my dad abt this.And just like I afraid it wud be, he didn't let me. He wud juz send me off tomorow instead. MY LORD!!! U noe what he said? That it wud be hard 4 me 2 drive it since it's too big n blah blah blah blah.........Im a fast learner, trust me. It's good that I have my mom's trust in this, but now it's my dad's trust I need 2 win. God God God!!

Ok, u noe, if we don't believe that person, are we going to let it away juz like that? U have to trust them to do the thing for just one time n let u see that she HAVE THE POTENTIAL to do it! Or else she'll never learn!!! Ok, I need a car really2 badly. Next time my parents talk abt cars, I wont be a pushover and be nice! I have to stand up for my rights! I'm sick of being the one who cannot drive, seriously. Well,if Im not being fair, those people that just doesnt have license, it's their choice of not driving. But I have a passion in driving (not passion in CARS ye sayang) bcuz since the age of where Im illegal to drive, I wanted to drive anywhere I like, have the freedom. And now I have the chance in it, give me a chance of learning to get use to it...seriously people! Arrggghhh...right now Im just Geram..ok...huh..

Monday, May 25, 2009


Finally an event worth celebrating in my life with someone I really like, but I wasn't there to celebrate it. My brithday coming up too and I don't think i have the mood celebrating it. I mean, my boyfriend isn't going to be here, Hani and Syidah probably going to Johor and KL soon and Bai is going to further her study by this early June. And my birthday is on 17th June! I am going to just celebrate it with Rathy and Shahida, if Shahida could go out anyway. There's just no special people around me to give me gifts, hugs, kisses maybe, and just have fun, on my birthday. I wish so much I have all the people I love around me when I turn 19. And I want to be there too on their birthday. Especially my boyfriend's which is today. But all I could do was sit here and wondering what gift I would buy for him. And if I buy something, the gift will be sent late anyway. Not that the courier service could give it on the day itself. This is so frustrating. I love birthdays!!! But I can't celebrate it. Huk...

Sunday, May 10, 2009

The Truth About Girls

The guy that I dreamed of:

1. the door for me, pick me up whether we're walking or using car, not I have to walk to the car or to wait for him, offer something to me first although that is what he wanted, do anything to cover me from the rain, cold or hotness of the weather, and who tells me beautiful when I'm down and have low self-esteem.
2. Surprise me...not until I tell him what to do, do something special for me.
3. The first one to break the ice or talk when things have going downhill or bad, whether that's my fault or yours.
4. Would do anything to save the relationship, not do nothing and hope everything going alrite over time.
5. Try to change when we have argued about the situation, not do the same mistake again.
6. Doesn't interrupt me when I'm giving my feelings out or said anything. Not interrupting me and do the experiantial superiority, which is not listening to someone who doesn't have much experience as he is.
7. Consider the situation.
8. When I'm talking about my problems, I dreamed of a guy who doesn't reply with comparing his so-called 'good' experience or good situation - that is so annoying.
9. Take me not as a girl who is not capable of anything and weak mentally and physically, but as a girl who can do things she is sure she can, capable of anything mentally or physically.
10. Be my boyfriend and best friend, not only best friend where you can act sesuka hati.

If you do all this, I will do the same to you. Hmm, I think I have done all these things to the person I love as if I'm the guy. I'm a gentleman? Fyi, I'm a girl but I'm capable of doing this things.

I know I should LOVE ALL HIS WEAKNESSES but I WANTED TO FEEL SPECIAL, TO BE LOVED BY SOMEONE and reassure that I have his back if anything goes wrong. To show someone you love is not enough just by saying it out loud or show it physically by touching or whatever. Especially the touching. Touching people is essential but if it goes from love to LUST, that is another story. Show someone you love and care by doing the things for him/her, it shows you have commitment, ready to be there when things goes bad, and being a good friend for him/her.

I am pretty sure most girls would love the guys to do all these things to her. But sometimes the guys just don't buy it. They thought it's sappy and too romantic and it's not his style. It's too complicated or it's bruising their egos. Come on, man. Sape lg yg korg nk buat benda ni klau x dgn gf korg...right? If it humiliate u, nobody's watching, man, it's only her who knows you too well and would tell nobody but herself. If it's too romantic or sappy (jiwang), trust me, if you do it at least once in awhile, she will remember it forever. I remember the first time my bf open the door for me. That was months and months ago and I still appreciate every little, every tiny thing he does. But unfortunately he don't do that again (fuck). Girls can appreciate all that, all the tiny thing that shows you still care about her. She may not show it, of course nnt korg gk ckp die gedik, but deep in her heart, she wished you do it always, but not too often. If too often guys, I tell you, it can get freaky and annoying.

Every girl work differently with the world that surrounds her, including the people she loves. Some girls love romantic sappy things. Some girls are like guys, do the thing simple and no need for all those sappy things, some girls is so driven towards doing all the things herself, some girls are so independent they don't really need their boyfriend(haha!), some girls love all the little things that's enough to make she loves him. I am the girl who have almost all of the combination above. I love all the little romantic thing a guy does but not too many, I love to do things myself, I love simple but sweet things, I love all the small thing he did to me.

If you are not sure what type of girl your girlfriend are and want, being with her and learn how she react to the things you did, how she react to her life, that is who she is. Discover who she is, after all she make a fuss on things you didn't do, or things you overreacted. Discover what she wants by all that fuss. Don't put a blind eye and deaf ear, it will just make her furious even more. Sometimes the girls try to understand the guy and do the things he likes and don't expect to, why don't you, as a guy, do the honor of going for her and surprise her.

Seriously, having your ego as the barrier, and thinking you're a cool guy, or that thing just not your style...that really doesn't help anything. Change for a time or two to show her how you feel. Trust me, she'll remember you like she remember her own name. It's embedded to her mind.
Sincerely by someone desperately wanted to be loved.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Back to B

Finally! Aaaarrrgghhh!! Finally I'm back to B....I discuss this matter with the coordinator of our program (which was always difficult for everyone) and I almost lost my chance. Seriously...But I finally get it... Alhamdulillah.
These are why I want to go back to where I belong:

1. B is my family for a year now

2. B don't have clique and we're relax about everything. We're neutral.

3. B has its own uniqueness

4. B has all the people that I'm click with and all the people that I usually do work with

5. B don't fuss much about anything

6. We have great relationship with lecturers.

And now I guess for the next semester, the class will be more unique with more than half of it are new people or from C and it would be a whole lot different class than before.
Plus, there's my boyfriend in there and it would be a very new situation for me to study in the class. I don't know how I will adapt to the surrounding and how am I going to behave with him without everybody keep on 'pestering' on us. hehehe...
Good Luck class B!
The happy faces of the old B class. I don't know how the next B class will look like.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

B to A????

Next semester, because of the shortage of lecturer for my course Mass Comm, all the class will be shuffled. And I just find out that I'm at class A!!! You see, I was at B for 1 year already and known all my classmates like family and now I have to adapt to new situation again. I cant bear that fact anymore, seriously. I had this experience happened to me when Im in form 4. It sucks so much, I suffered all through the year.

I really need to change my class, immediately! You know, this is my nightmare come true. Before, when I heard about the news, what I hoped for was Im not going to be part of class A. But now, it has all come true! Dammit! Before, too, I was looking forward to have new classmates, but I wasn't expected THIS! I wasn't expected to be the one that other classmates are looking forward to meet! Geddit? huh, nevermind.

I'm feeling utterly sad right now. I'm concern about my social and work communication (like my friend stated it) in that class. I mean, I heard that class is very quiet. Even lecturer said it was very, very quiet man. And I donno anybody there! How am I going to work in group in the future? Huh...I really don't know how my luck can be turned instantly like this. This is totally devastating.

Well, my way of solving it: I'd probably try to ask the coordinator to move me back to B. If that cant be done, my backup plan is going for class C, coz my bf is there. AT least I know someone to work with in the class. My last chance is, manipulate the computer system when Im registering myself - I'll put myself at B! Hahah... evil, I know but I cant do anything. Well, let's just see how my luck turn this thing around in the future. Finger crossed!