Still a dream....

You see, I have this fantasy about having so much money and i would spent one whole day shopping till I drop...literally...

If I could...these are a few of the things that I'd like to buy..just look at how cute these things are...well, mostly, it comes from Roxy but I'd like to have MNG, ELLE, and so much more of the clothes...heheh..

.

AAAHHH..THE BEST SEDUCTION OF ALL...NEW AND GORGEOUS STUFF.

Blast Day...My Birthday!

On 17 June 2009, I turned 19 years old. Not old enough for me to feel mature though. My friends and I had planned to have a picnic at Matang Family Park (Sungai Cina, under the Serapi Mount). First, all of my friends, Syidah, Fiq, Rathy, Hazim and Bai, along with her cousin, Bang Buck who will be our 'guidance' / tour guide / driver. Hahaha..poor him...but anyway, we took off from my house when all of them arrived there around 10 am. Me & Syidah were in teh car with Bai and Bang Buck, & Bang Buck as our tour guide, he told us all the story abt old history of some village we passed on, some creepy japanese war or something and ok, I should stop. It was fun, ut let's move on.

We arrived around 10.45 am and we took our spot which is so far away from the public. The place was incredibly beautiful (but not for some sampah people left there) and there was a few small waterfalls there. There's also like a small pool yg semulajadi terbentuk oleh batu2 besar kt situ and it was a perfect spot for us to swim. What's with ada akar dr pokok utk ktorg gayut2 n terjun dlm air.hahahhaha...We swam for awhile, enjoying ourselves. The water was FREEZING! Seriously! I only went into the water for abt 15 minutes then Im out of there. By the time Im out, evryone wanted to eat since it was already lunch time.

So we ate everything that we brought (sandwich, puding, snacks, coke & pepsi, mineral, bihun) because we're kinda hungry...hehe...While eating, we made a lot of jokes...seriously, nak pecah perut gelak x abeh2...well, practicaly, the whole time I was there, I was laughing, laughing, laughing and oh yeah! Laughing! Hahahhaha....

Ok, so then, Syidah, Hazim, Fiq n Rathy went back to swimming. Well, Fiq n Rathy were dating the whole time...hahah...while Bai n I really couldnt stand the water,we picked a great big rock for our spot n sunbathed! Hahaha... But it was not for long as suddenly Bang Buck walked away from us and explore the rest of the river. And we were curious so we followed! All of us except Rathy n Fiq. We had so much fun exploring the place. With so many slippy big rock, and great spots for photoshooting, it was a very beautiful place. Finally at the end of our exploration, we found another bigger waterfall and took a lot of pictures there. But apparentsly since tpt tu x byk org dtg, tpt tu pnuh dgn binatang yg I plg GELI!!! I found Katak...I SCREAMED! I found small fishes surrounding my legs...I SCREAMED! I found A big, long lipan n I almost scream..heheh... But it was fun though...Malu2 mmg malu pas menjerit but it was a memory yg menggelikan yg xdpt dilupakan..hahha...

So yeah, we tried to swim at the 'pool' of the bigger waterfall then but the dasar was too licin n there's so many fishes! hahaha..Then my darling Donut calls...Im so glad he called...cuz im missing him while im having all these funs with my frens...hehhe

Then Rathy called dr ulu sungai sruh ktorg balik coz fiq terpksa blik awl. Die nk ambk adik skolah kot..huhuh..so then we went back to our spots, kira nak berkemas tp skali guess what?

I turned around and suddenly the girls are throwing FLOUR at me!!! AAhhh!!! I baling balik tepung tu kt diorg and we laughed so much at each other for being white and ghostly..hahah... Bang Buck even perli Rathy dh mcm NENEK KLIWON sbb rmbt putih! Ngahahahahak!!! We laughed so hard at that.. I mean, supposedly nenek kebayan, tp tetiba nenek keliwon..ngahahhaha...xpasal2...

So then we have to wash ourselves again n swin for awhile to get rid of the flour yg mlekat2... Then...well, biasa la, kemas2..balik...then it's like so early for us who dont want to go home early, and we decided to go carik makan...so we just follow Bang Buck's lead..we are quite tired so we just follow n keep quiet in the car..Bang Buck said he will bring us to Pasir Pandak, another pantai at the other side of the world...hehehe..so we went there...n when we're almost there, we found out that Rathy, Fiq n Hazim r not following behing n they said that they decided to go back home. So we continue our journey. Dh smpai, Bang buck nk ambk tmpt berteduh bwh pkok, skali pasir byk sgt, kreta pun lekat........hahaha..ktorg girls pun tolong la tolak smbl teyar berpusing2 dlm pasir..tayar tu seriously dh stgh terbenam..haha..tp akhirnya dpt gk dikluarkn.

Then at the beach, it's hot so we bassically have photoshoot of our own..on the trees...seriously, atas pokok! And on the beach n in the water...hehe...so, okay, after that we all went home...

And just when I thought the day was over, as tired as I was, I went for a birthday dinner with my family! Wow! My mom wanted to give me a white gold necklace cost RM1500 and above with it's pendant RM5OO and above for my gift. It's like sooo crazy! Im like, I wanted it but it's like so unworthy. I'd be wearing tudung the whole time & i cant even show off my 2000 pure white gold necklace..hahha....So I said I don't want the necklace but I want a broadband instead. It's much cheaper and I'd be using it a lot more than a necklace. So yeah, my mom was a bit down but it's easier on her pocket so she went with it...hehe..And I finally got my broadband!! weehooo...And we have dinner at Kenny Rogers..uurrhhhmmm....missing the juicyness of the chicken...haha...so yeah...that is all..I had a blast and also very tired. Happy Birthday To Me!!!

Better to Give than Receive

Was it worth it to buy someone a gift that cost me more than a hundred for a belated birthday gift? People might say it would be worth it if you want to make it up to him or her for forgetting his or her birthday. Hahahaha... Well I'm certainly not a person who forgets people's birthday. I even remembered my old school mates' birthday even though I'm sure she's forgotten me overall already by now. Well, anyway, for me it's worth it. Because why? I love to buy stuff for people. Seriously, I don't know why, everytime I went out, most of my money are spent on something that would probably for someone, or a thing that might be shared with someone or just to impress someone. You know, not the thing to impress myself or to satisfy myself. I don't know why. It's like a disease or something. Here's the fact: I LOVE BUYING STUFF FOR OTHER PEOPLE!!!!

For example the things I bought recently that connected with someone:
1.The PC dvd game I bought, for me and my sister
2.RM114 spent for birthday gift
3.Belanja kawan makan
4.Slipers & necklace for my friendsand others...

Why I love buying stuff for people? Because I love to watch their face when they get the gifts. I love the feeling of GIVING. And u know what other thing is... I want those stuff too. I love to receive gifts too. And when I know other people loves receiving gifts too, I give them the chance of being happy by receiving it from me! I just want the person to feel what I feel when I receive a gift. The feeling of touching, smelling and appreciating things we receive, things we don't have to buy and at the same time very pretty to the eyes...Whoooh..I just love the euphoria of receiving it. And of course, I love the euphoria of giving gifts too. It's like a drug that keeps me addictive... just LOVE it when they open up the gift I BOUGHT for them. Weeeheee... I just hope those people will appreciate it as much as I do If I were in their shoes...heheh..

Well, like the saying says, "It's better to give than receive"....or something like that. I don't remember...hahha...

Knape English, tak Melayu?

Knape aku buat blog ni dlm English, bukan melayu? Eh, jgn slh anggap. Ygni xde kna mngena ngn smgt patriotik...hahah... Mungkin org lain yg bca blog ni akn fikir, tau la die terer English an, xyah la nk tunjuk2 die pandai plak. Sbnrnya, xde niat pun nk tunjuk. Aku pun tau xde sape nk bca blog yg xde nilai ni (kcuali bg diri sendri...hahha). Aku tgk kebanyakan member2 yg lain smua tulis blog dlm bhsa ibunda, tp aku sorg je cmni...

Tp pada hakikatnya (ceh) ada beberapa sebab aku tulis dlm English dan bkn Melayu. Ok, aku ni org Sarawak, so basically, I have 3 language yg dh dipelajari. Bahasa Melayu Biasa, Bahasa Sarawak & Bahasa Inggeris. So, aku ada 3 pilihan nk tulis dlm bhsa apa. U see, klau aku nk tulis dlm bhsa Melayu, member2 Sarawak plak ckp, "Ko buat blog tu utk member2 semenanjung ko je ke?" <----- Contoh jela..hahha...

And then, kalo nk tulis blog dlm bhsa Sarawak plak, member2 kt semenanjung pnin kpla membaca, x paham pape! ngahahaha...ni la mslhnya...jd, for a safer bet, nk selamat la kan...buat la dlm bhsa Inggeris....

Sekian Terima Kasih....

Trust and Parents related

Ok, u noe how does it feel when your parents just don't believe in your potential or just give u teh trust in something? How does it feel? It's horrifyingly frustrating. Because it's the nature of children since at the tender age to get parents' attention and then put their trust and believe on the child.

Well, it happen to me all the time, and the feelings overwhelmed me SUCKS! It's about driving and cars. You see, our family have 2 cars and both of it are freakin' big and expensive! I almost got my chance of having a car on my own, but I missed it because I was concern with my mom's wealth as debts are around her waist and so does my dad. So I said I wanted a car but not neccesarry needed it in this time. Well, ok, I was being so nice, even a pushover to my parents. That didn't bother me at all but when I finally found out that we were having a new freakin car and its fortuner (!!!), I was like, WTF??!!! What about the debts? Why buy new one when u just offer me a car who SOO needed it and it's smaller n cheaper? Well, A 4-wheel drive with SUV like and it's big and expensive. Just adding the big-and-expensive car collection of ours. I mean, common!!!! Why do these people have to buy BIG cars which is not suitable for teenagers to drive? U see, I've gotten my license for a year and a half now and my sister is soon going to learn to drive. It kills me n my sis, KILLS us to have a driver license in our wallet but couldn't do anything about it! Like I just said, I've had the license for more than a year, I should be good with cars by now. But u noe what? I'm still scared of driving a car in a busy town. I still feel jittery all over when I get into a car, just like I first started driving. This is so UNFAIR!

Ok, when we got the car, I thought I got the chance of driving it. I mean, it's more compact n nice inside, with power sterring and all, it's much more easier than driving a mercedes (yea, one of our cars), eventhough it's big at the outside. I've had experience driving a merc, but I think it's hard.huhuhuhu, I donno. Ok, get back to story. So I thought I have a chance, BUT TEEETTT... SO WRONG! let me tell ya...

Ok, so finally I was given a responsibilty to send my sis to tusyen when my mom went off to KL. Before this she was talking about how easy the car was to drive than merc to me, so I can help with being a chauffer for my sis. So FINNALLY my mom trust me in this responsibility n believe I could do it, after more a year n a half of having a license. Trust me, it's pretty hard to get my mom's trust in doing something. Doubting me n my sis is her number 1 career. So then I told my dad abt I have to send my sis off n mom let me use Fortuner because it's easier,n if anything would happen, it wud be cheaper to repair since its a less expensive car than merc. But my dad insist on using fortuner bcuz i guess well, it's new n it's big n high, just his taste of car so it's kinda hard to get it off his hand.Ok, so then I use merc to send my sis off (even that I felt guilty since my mom didn't let me use it but when finally talk 2 her, she said ok, i was grateful she believe in me. THANX MUM!).

Then my frens n i planned to hang out n we need a car bcuz I guess we juz get use of not depending on parents anymore with cars n plus we need to get from one place to another (I need 2 buy things at diffrent place) so we really need a car. All my frens juz informed me their cars cannot be use that day, n it's depend on me. So I talked to my dad abt this.And just like I afraid it wud be, he didn't let me. He wud juz send me off tomorow instead. MY LORD!!! U noe what he said? That it wud be hard 4 me 2 drive it since it's too big n blah blah blah blah.........Im a fast learner, trust me. It's good that I have my mom's trust in this, but now it's my dad's trust I need 2 win. God God God!!

Ok, u noe, if we don't believe that person, are we going to let it away juz like that? U have to trust them to do the thing for just one time n let u see that she HAVE THE POTENTIAL to do it! Or else she'll never learn!!! Ok, I need a car really2 badly. Next time my parents talk abt cars, I wont be a pushover and be nice! I have to stand up for my rights! I'm sick of being the one who cannot drive, seriously. Well,if Im not being fair, those people that just doesnt have license, it's their choice of not driving. But I have a passion in driving (not passion in CARS ye sayang) bcuz since the age of where Im illegal to drive, I wanted to drive anywhere I like, have the freedom. And now I have the chance in it, give me a chance of learning to get use to it...seriously people! Arrggghhh...right now Im just Geram..ok...huh..

Birthday

Finally an event worth celebrating in my life with someone I really like, but I wasn't there to celebrate it. My brithday coming up too and I don't think i have the mood celebrating it. I mean, my boyfriend isn't going to be here, Hani and Syidah probably going to Johor and KL soon and Bai is going to further her study by this early June. And my birthday is on 17th June! I am going to just celebrate it with Rathy and Shahida, if Shahida could go out anyway. There's just no special people around me to give me gifts, hugs, kisses maybe, and just have fun, on my birthday. I wish so much I have all the people I love around me when I turn 19. And I want to be there too on their birthday. Especially my boyfriend's which is today. But all I could do was sit here and wondering what gift I would buy for him. And if I buy something, the gift will be sent late anyway. Not that the courier service could give it on the day itself. This is so frustrating. I love birthdays!!! But I can't celebrate it. Huk...

The Truth About Girls

The guy that I dreamed of:

1. Gentleman...open the door for me, pick me up whether we're walking or using car, not I have to walk to the car or to wait for him, offer something to me first although that is what he wanted, do anything to cover me from the rain, cold or hotness of the weather, and who tells me beautiful when I'm down and have low self-esteem.

2. Surprise me...not until I tell him what to do, do something special for me.

3. The first one to break the ice or talk when things have going downhill or bad, whether that's my fault or yours.

4. Would do anything to save the relationship, not do nothing and hope everything going alrite over time.

5. Try to change when we have argued about the situation, not do the same mistake again.

6. Doesn't interrupt me when I'm giving my feelings out or said anything. Not interrupting me and do the experiantial superiority, which is not listening to someone who doesn't have much experience as he is.

7. Consider the situation.

8. When I'm talking about my problems, I dreamed of a guy who doesn't reply with comparing his so-called 'good' experience or good situation - that is so annoying.

9. Take me not as a girl who is not capable of anything and weak mentally and physically, but as a girl who can do things she is sure she can, capable of anything mentally or physically.

10. Be my boyfriend and best friend, not only best friend where you can act sesuka hati.

If you do all this, I will do the same to you. Hmm, I think I have done all these things to the person I love as if I'm the guy. I'm a gentleman? Fyi, I'm a girl but I'm capable of doing this things.

I know I should LOVE ALL HIS WEAKNESSES but I WANTED TO FEEL SPECIAL, TO BE LOVED BY SOMEONE and reassure that I have his back if anything goes wrong. To show someone you love is not enough just by saying it out loud or show it physically by touching or whatever. Especially the touching. Touching people is essential but if it goes from love to LUST, that is another story. Show someone you love and care by doing the things for him/her, it shows you have commitment, ready to be there when things goes bad, and being a good friend for him/her.

I am pretty sure most girls would love the guys to do all these things to her. But sometimes the guys just don't buy it. They thought it's sappy and too romantic and it's not his style. It's too complicated or it's bruising their egos. Come on, man. Sape lg yg korg nk buat benda ni klau x dgn gf korg...right? If it humiliate u, nobody's watching, man, it's only her who knows you too well and would tell nobody but herself. If it's too romantic or sappy (jiwang), trust me, if you do it at least once in awhile, she will remember it forever. I remember the first time my bf open the door for me. That was months and months ago and I still appreciate every little, every tiny thing he does. But unfortunately he don't do that again (fuck). Girls can appreciate all that, all the tiny thing that shows you still care about her. She may not show it, of course nnt korg gk ckp die gedik, but deep in her heart, she wished you do it always, but not too often. If too often guys, I tell you, it can get freaky and annoying.

Every girl work differently with the world that surrounds her, including the people she loves. Some girls love romantic sappy things. Some girls are like guys, do the thing simple and no need for all those sappy things, some girls is so driven towards doing all the things herself, some girls are so independent they don't really need their boyfriend(haha!), some girls love all the little things that's enough to make she loves him. I am the girl who have almost all of the combination above. I love all the little romantic thing a guy does but not too many, I love to do things myself, I love simple but sweet things, I love all the small thing he did to me.

If you are not sure what type of girl your girlfriend are and want, being with her and learn how she react to the things you did, how she react to her life, that is who she is. Discover who she is, after all she make a fuss on things you didn't do, or things you overreacted. Discover what she wants by all that fuss. Don't put a blind eye and deaf ear, it will just make her furious even more. Sometimes the girls try to understand the guy and do the things he likes and don't expect to, why don't you, as a guy, do the honor of going for her and surprise her.

Seriously, having your ego as the barrier, and thinking you're a cool guy, or that thing just not your style...that really doesn't help anything. Change for a time or two to show her how you feel. Trust me, she'll remember you like she remember her own name. It's embedded to her mind.
Sincerely by someone desperately wanted to be loved.