Sunday, November 13, 2011

what's wrong?

You know when you get the feelings when you just don't know what really happen but you just feel all moody and sad. When you think about it, you can't seem to find what the cause is. Everything just don't feel right at that time. It's not even feeling bad about something. Just the feeling where you want to lie down on the floor, music blazing as loud as it is, and just forget about the world.

That is exactly what I'm feeling right now, for the whole day.

But instead of doing what I have described above, I do none of it. I manage to smile, I spend my day studying, and just doing my life like usual, even though given the day I spent most of it alone. The loneliness in this house didn't even make me wanna do lying on the floor thing. Why? I don't really know. But maybe because I'm just too tired of being tired of everything. Maybe I just want to be strong for once. Maybe I just want to be positive for a day. Maybe I just see this as a normal, seasonal thing. Or maybe it's just the hormone. But overall. I tell you, trying to lift yourself up when you're down is not an easy thing. I can't really concentrate on my studies. At times I just wanna hit my head on the table. I even found myself say this out loud, "Shut the fuck up," because my brain can't stop talking and imagining shit that'll never happen. hahaha.. But overall, those music helps me, those inspirational helps me, and I watched movies to distract myself. Because I know tomorrow will be a good day if I let it. There's no point in dragging this stupid feelings get by day by day. I'm just gonna tell myself that everyday from now.

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