Mengada

Ok. Aku tak nak mengharap.

Tapi apa boleh buat.

Dah diri aku mcm ni.

Suka plan awal2.

Kalau tak plan awal awal tu hidup aku rasa kosong.

Tapi kadang kadang hidup dont go as planned.

Ada masa dia belok kanan. Ada masa belok kiri.

Sebab tu kita kena adapt diri kita, expect the unexpected.

Kalau tak, mengharap sgt, kecewa. Betul dak?

Haa...so kau diam.

Dah pegi tido. Kau dah dapat apa kau nak, masih nak harap lebih.

Mengada.

OK bye.

J-K :)

I really don't know what to do right now so just bear with me and let me talk whatever I want.

I have an issue.

I can't sit still.

When I'm bored, I have to find something to do.

And I don't mean sitting there and do something.

I mean go somewhere.

Sit somewhere else with someone or something.

Sit somewhere and watch something.

Or just sit somewhere and watch people.

I have this tendency to feel uneasy when I don't know what else to do.

Resah, tau resah?

So my days are filled with 'going somewhere'.

Sometime I will find myself in a mess, gara - gara bosan punya pasal.

Not like mess, benda bertaburan. Tak la.

Mess as in like would do something out of my mind.

Pandai pandai la imagination korang pikir.

....

Kadang-kadang pun I find myself doing something yang aku dah tau consequences die.

Aku tahu mencuba itu sesuatu yg bagus.

Tetapi ini percubaan yg boleh menyakitkan hati. Buat luka berdarah punya.

Kita ni biasa lah. Nampak air tenang rasa nak swimming je kan.

Punya la dah tukar baju semua, dah masuk dlm 'air' tu, baru sedar....

Air itu bahaya.

Paham tak metafora dia kt sini?

Yelah, org ckp, test the water first.

Tapi degil, nak masuk jugak.

Kan dah kena dah.

Sakit tak hati, sakit kan?

Padan muka kau.

HAHAHA

....

You were right.

I'm just saying.

My mom is right.

That one I couldn't agree more.

She was right.

She should've slapped me from beginning.

And he was also right.

About myself.

Thank you all.

For making me realize once again I am much more than this.

I love you guys.

p/s: Ini sekadar merepek. Sila jangan layan. Terima Kasih.

P.E.N.A.T

I am overly freakin' tired.

Why?

Naik flight from Kuching to KL. Bawak 4 jenis barang dibahu dan tangan.

Laptop, Camera, Beg yg dipenuhi makanan yg berat, dan handbag yg agak penuh dan berat jgk.

Time tu guna plak kasut baru. Gorgeous but kakiku luka sbb dia :(.

Berjalan jaaauuuhhhh dgn kaki luka dan bawa brg berat.

Lepas tu drive from KL to Melaka. Balik Melaka no rest, terus pergi beli brg stock utk rumah sewa kalau tidak xdpt mandi la mlm ni. hahaha...

Di temui pula perangai2 yg agak tidak disenangi yg aku biasa jumpa.

Tambahan pula perangai org2 tertentu yg aku kenal agk menyakitkan hati, walaupun baru 1st day.

Aku tak tahan aku terus menangis.

*Thank you awak sbb sudi terima panggilan tersebut. I dunno who else to turn to.*

Aku balik rumah, ambk barang yg di kirim oleh kawan dan hantar kerumahnya lps tu lepak sana. *u guys cheer me up, thanx :) *

Balik je dr rumah tu, mandi, siap2, terus kluar makan dgn housemate (berejam nk tggu mknn ha).

Balik dr makan, unpack. (Benda paling aku x suka).

Lepas tu baru aku rasa sakit kt bahagian bahu, lengan, tangan, kaki, dan belakang. Rasa Muscle burn. Adehh.... Nsb baik esok kls lmbt.

I just need to sleep. Too much tears, too much things to do and too much things to buy.

My hands can barely type anymore.

Bye.

2010 Rolling Over

Assalamualaikum.

Banyak kenangan tahun 2010 ni yg aku tak boleh lupa dan takkan lupa dan wajib diingati. Lagi sehari nak New Year, so apa azam anda tahun baru ini? Mesti banyak kan, dan sudah tentu ada yg still xdapat nk capai by 2012 nnt. hahak! Biasa la tu.

Anyway, nak cerita nihhh pasal kenangan. Get ready tadah telinga ek. Eh, tadah mata. hehehe..

Salah satu kenangan aku tak boleh lupakan, time aku jumpa sorang mamat ni. Hehehe... (Aku gerenti time dia baca ni mesti dah kembang kempis idong, hahaha!) Dia seorang yg sgt baik hati, caring, berbakat, rmai kawan, interesting to talk to, sweet dan sbgainya. Malangnya kami tak lama tp kami tetap kawan. :)

Lagi kenangan time aku first time dpt experience membikin filem. Whaaahhh...ok bkn filem, just video clip utk assignment Audio & Visual. Tapi experience die sgt BEST dan PENAT. Berkampong di studio dua tiga ari tak mandi (yes, ini serious. Tlg jgn bayang bau busuk camana. HAHA!), duit melayang cam angin, Penat smpai aku cuma hidup selama beberapa jam satu hari lepas semua slesai (mksd nya tido la tu... T___T). Tapi hasil dia? Aku boleh ckp yg aku bangga la dgn kerja yg x seberapa ni. Atleast nampak best.heheheh....

Ok, korang pun tau ni kan? MALAYSIA MENANG AFF CUP SUZUKI!! WOOO....ini adalah perlawanan bola yg kedua aku tgk dgn penuh debaran dan jeritan (wlaupun tgk sorang2), selepas tgk German Vs Spain time Final World Cup

dulu. Aku mmg sgt bangga dgn cara perlawanan Msia kali ni. (Dulu2 tak ke? errkk..) And of course, dgn kemenangan ini, banyak yg kena tempias baik.haha... Spt: Khairul Fahmi punya nama jadi fofular... Twitter, google, smua top topic kot. Even gf dia pun kna tempias, dpt follower dlm 1000 per night. Ini tak joke punya. Mlm td tgk 1200++...refresh lg, jadi 1400++... refresh lg jd 1800++..Itu semalam, harini aku tgk? 4000++ Gila hebat kan? Tp aku respect sgt2 kt gf dia ni, Elia (baca la, cara dia tulis pon best). Aku respect bukan apa. Sebab dia terer handle wo jd gf seorang terkenal. Hehe... Dia cam handle all the hustle of being afamous person's girlfriend with total maturity, itu aku hormat tentang seseorang. Orang keep on tanya, tak jeles ke? Dia relaxxx je. Caya lah! Keep on the goodd work ya. Org mcm anda ini

grenti suda bersedia dgn cabaran2 yg lebih bsr akn dtg kan? heheh. Lepas tu aku dpt tau yg the "Ronaldo Malaysia", Safee Salleh tu dpt tawaran utk join Indonesia punya team AND Manchester United punya team. Waaaaahhhhh!!! Kalau dia amik yg MU punya kan, serious bangga wo. Sekali lagi, TAHNIAH buat team Harimau Malaya. (Asal tak Borneo skali ek? hahaha..joking je. :P )

Aku kagum dgn skill Khairul Fahmi ni. Tangan ada magnet ke bang? :p

Wey kita champion wey kita champion!!!

Seterusnya...bila aku menerima Lola. Ngehehehe~ Lola, walaupun aku kena anta kau ke klinik utk servis kau tiap2 dua bulan, walaupun kau selalu kotor (mak da ckp, jgn maik ujan! hep!), walaupun kau suka pujuk2 aku suruh belikan jus Ron 95 feveret dia (abih kering weh poket), walaupun kau tak secantik sespisis dgn kau, tp kau telah byk berjasa kpd ku, housemateku, teammateku (sorry jd belacan time shooting) dan sewaktu dgnnya, dan aku akn sentiasa menjagamu dgn penuh kasih sayang. hik :)

Actually aku buat entry ni makan masa hampir 2 jam sbb nak pikir apa lg kenangan yg aku xleh lupa. Hahaha... Tp tgh2 malam buta ni aku cpt lupa, RAM otak dah selow, nk pickup memory pun dah karat..hahaha... So buat sikit jela. Aku pasti ada byk lg tp biarlah ianya menjd kenangan manis diriku sendiri. Jadi ini shja yg aku kongsikan, selamat membaca, bg sesiapa yg baca la blog yg huduh lg tak seberapa ni...(cam sedih plak) hahahha... =)

Banyak Idea tapi Kurang diluahkan

Assalamualaikum

Berdasarkan tittle post ni, actually saye ada baaaaanyaaakkk idea nak tulis blog. Tapi kan tapi kan...selalunya takde idea la nk tulis camne, tatau camne nk karang best2 dan menarik ataupun just tade mase. Atau ada benda yg lagi best nk buat time boring. hehe... Sekarang kalau nk ditgk kan, semakin ramai giler blogger tegar kt Malaysia ni, bnda ni dah mcm trend. You can be instant celebrity just by doing a blog! And of course, make money too. hehe...

Tadi aku baru habis baca blog-blog yg best dan yg mmg dah terkenal. Antaranya Hanis Zalikha, Maria Elena, Fatin Liyana, Zack Zukhairi dan sbgainya..Korang yg mmg peminat setia or mmg suka blog walking mesti da kenal sapa dorg2 ni kan? Tgk jela follower dorg, da boleh buat kerajaan. Cecah puluhan ribu u'olz..mana taknya masyukkk je advertising kt blog dorg. hehehe...Aku punya internet browser ni mmg dah byk giler bookmark blog2 dorg ni. Kira peminat jgk ler. hehehe.. Apa yg aku suka is dorg mmg laid-back dan x kesah apa org ckp psl dorg...just like being themselves. And aku jgk tahu ada beberapa ciri-ciri yg sama antara semua blogger2 ni... that is~

1. Pandai bercakap/karang cerita/good humour/terer merepek yg x menyampah/sudi kongsi everything dan pengetahuan dan tutorial2.

2. Berbakat/pandai melukis/Model part time/penah masuk magazine

3.Peramah dan friendly - sudah semestinya

4. Cantik/comel/jelita/beautiful/hensem (mesti ada pakej ni tau! tp biasanya yg ppuan la. Yg laki ni org x kesah sgt rupo die)

5.Fashionable

6.Mampu untuk membeli baju2 seperti itu. haha...ok mungkin tak semua.

Aku adore sangat2 dorg semua ni. Diorg boleh jd inspirasi kt org. Ni aku ckp psl blogger2 ppuan ek. Most of them adalah pemakai tudung, dan bukan tudung biasa, tudung/shawl yg fashionable punya yg pusing2 punya kain ala2 Yuna dan Hana Tajima tuuuu...... Untuk menyesuaikan tudung yg menarik, mestilah baju2,seluar2,skirt2,kasut2 diorg pakai fashionable jugak ye. Aku tgk dorg ni dah boleh buat fashion statement sendiri. Sangat sukkeee!! heee~

Sooo...aku mendapat satu idea yg bernas (yelah tu kot) iaitu untuk cuba ubah style/fashion dan post it in here. To see the flow of everything, berjaya x membuahkan satu hasil. Hasil x byk la kot, cuma dpt tgk diri sendiri bergaya..pueh hati! hehehe... Aku nak cuba hidupkan balik blog ni. Cuba la cuba. Jgn x cuba, kan? Satu lagi, aku harap aku jadi rajin. Sebab nak buat blog ni tak koma, atau berhabuk, kenalah selalu update, betol? hehe... So I'll try and see if i can make it. Kalau aku tak dapat update selalu, sesiapa tolong tampar aku nt ek?! (Eiish kasau da plak.hik.) Hahaha...Yelah kan, Drpd aku duk stalk org kt fesbuk (EH! opppss~), tgk movie je keje, baik aku buat benda lain pulak seperti menulis. Dulu aku minat giler menulis gua ckp lu. Smpai penah habiskan satu novel plak tu. HAHA...

Aku harap semua org sokong ek? sokong laaa..pelisss...(mcm pelik plak da) hahaha...Next week sebelum balik ke Melaka, me nak buat photoshoot ngn bestfriends! hehehe..pakai cantik2, mekap tebal2 ala2 studio punya tp kami still cuba fikir camane nk buat photoshoot, tanpa photographer dan tripod. Hah? Hah? Korg tau? hahaha... aku pun sedikit pelik sini. Camera da ada. Baju cantik, mekap semua ada. Location pun cantik. Tp siapa nk tangkap? Kalo nk self-timer boleh, tapi tripod nyeh? Gantung jela atas pkok ek, ape susah? HAHAHA..

Ok lah mari stop merepek. Nak blogwalking jap. Jauh dah jalan nih. Penat kaki. hehehe... OK, babai!

Azam 2010

Tadi aku baca post lama2 kt blog aku ni. Byk nye psl emo, luahan perasaan, cerita merepek, merapu meraban smua ada, dan ada a few je yg aku bangga baca balik. Ada yg aku tergelak sbb mcm bodoh je. Hahaha...

Tp aku jumpa satu entry ni, nama dia "New Resolution" bertarikhkan 2 january 2010. Obviously itu adalah entry utk azam 2010 aku and now, dah nk abis 2010, aku nk tgk satu2 adakah aku berjaya melakukan setiap azam yg aku ada tu. Tp bukan nk ckp apa azam aku utk next year ok? hehe...itu...erm..nnt aku pikirkan. :p

Ini link dia: http://thesecondmemoir.blogspot.com/2010/01/new-resolution.html

1. Cukupkan waktu sembahyang.

Dari apa yg aku boleh konklusikan, azam ini boleh tahan dpt dilaksanakan dgn jayanya. hehe... Walaupun aku ada la a few times, aku ngaku, ada time ter- ter- tu....korg pun tau kan. hik... Manusia biasalah... Tapi aku bangga dgn diri sendiri sbb banyak dah dpt diperbaiki dan berubah kearah kebaikan dan maju! weehee~ haha..tp aku tahu, byk lg yg perlu diperbaiki.

Azam ini, CHECKED.

2.Simpan duit.

I suck at this, seriously. To be honest, aku x simpan duit ape2 pun. Tapi aku ada buat benda yg ada kena mngena dgn duit, and it is so much better. Which is, started my own blogshop! heheh.... Aku ada jual tudung, syria, shawls, and baju2 yg kiut miut! Untung? Lets just say Im too busy this semester that I didn't even care to know. HAHA! Tp ada la sikit2 tu aku bole buat makan seminggu. hehehe

Ini link dia...tgk tau! Le Petite Parlor.

So, conclusionnye, boleh lah di check kan, kan? hik ok, CHECKED.

3.Rahsia.

Well, since ini rahsia (ngehehe) aku xleh nk ckp byk ar kan... tp aku boleh sure one thing.

It's CHECKED. =)

4.Dapatkan laptop baru.

CHECKED! From Acer tah tahun brapa to Dell Inspiron N4010! Kaler biruuu~ canteeekkk.. hehehe

5.Menjaga kereta dgn baik.

Dalam entry tu aku ckp no accident, selalu cuci, no saman. Erm....aku cuma dpt buat 2 yg pertama tu je. huhu...Accident of course kita takleh halang sbb malang x berbau kan? Tp kita boleh elakkan dgn memandu dgn selamat. hehe... Saman tu jgn cerita la. Aku rasa aku penggumpul saman plg byk. HAHAHA...tp semua da langsaikan, Alhamdulillah..Aku tamau hutang bwk ke kubur nnt. erk... Tapi kan, aku baru terigt. Ada la satu fenomena ni, aku menyampah sgt sbb selalu sgt kena saman smpai sehari tu dpt 3 saman dr UiTM, Majlis Pembandaran A.Gajah dan Melaka, smpai semua saman tu aku renyuk and buang dalam longkang. HAHAHA! Percaya x? Tp aku x brani buang UiTM punya la. Sbb itu future dan yg plg dekat dgn aku so aku xbrani. haha...

Muke seronok driving Lola

Pape pun, Myvi putih ku, atau dikenali sbgai "Lola" still sehat walafiat... =) rindunyeee nk bawak die...Lola kt S.Alam skrg ni..tah ape la die buat kan? hahaha...ok, ini CHECKED.

6.Raise up my level of confident.

Hmmm..ini aku kurang pasti. Macam tak je? Tp aku definitely ada buat something about it. Let's just say, ini tak check ok? Sbb aku nak cuba lagi next year. hehe..Tak berapa bangga dgn ini tp oh so what? Go Malina! :p

7.Belajar lebih rajin, smart and focus, focus, focus!

Yang ni, aku tau ini adalah weakness aku. Sem 4, aku boleh tgk, my grad menaik. So, aku boleh ckp, maybe I did this! Maybe I nailed it! But tomorow, aku akan tau result sem 5 aku plak. Sem 5 sangat2 tough, and ini bukan understatement, sbb semua senior aku kenal ckp camtu jgk. Sem 5 ada paling byk subject killer yg di pack dlm satu semester yg tak brapa pnjg. Dia punya assignment pulak takmau nak mcm serial killer plak. hahaha... Ktorg kena buat research yg agak mencabar dgn lecturer yg mengajar bdk diploma mcm Master (dan ini dtgnya dr mulut lecturer lain ye, bkn student), buat video clip (tiring, buang duit sbb hmpr 500 habis diguna, fun sikit, dan tiring dan penat dan exhausted), buat satu event where our class buat talk show with Ally Iskandar (kena siapkan preparation selama 11 hari) da

n banyak lg ok. Boleh tak aku ckp aku checked utk ini? Sebab aku rasa aku berusaha kuat, lebih focus dlm kelas dan lebih bersemangat. Alah, waddehel kan, ini azam aku sendiri, so, CHECKED!

Dapat carik Ally Iskandar tak? hehehe

Well, itu je yg aku tulis time tu..Tp aku rasa ada byk lg. But overall, aku bangga, sbb aku dpt buat most of it. hehehehe~~ Tahniah Malina! Next year, buat yg terbaik lg dgn lebih byk cabaran dan pencapaian. hehe... Nnt la nk buat entry baru lg psl azam yek. itu saje~~

=D

Coincidence?

Kenapa bila kita melalui fasa-fasa susah dlm hidup, semua movie, lagu di radio dan TV yg kta tgk dan dgr ada kena mengena dgn kita?

Contoh 1:

Hari tu aku layan "How I Met Your Mother" sbb xde keje. Bg yg tau TV series tu, mesti mcm, "Oooohhh...". Tp bg yg xtau tu, series ni is everything about kisah cinta antara 5 org kawan. Yg bestnya, geng dorg ni, consist of 1 couple suami istri which is Lily & Marshall. Satu lg couple ni, Robin & Barney, & sorg single, Ted. Tp kan, Robin ni penah bercinta dgn Ted, kira ex la, slma setahun. After their break up, they manage to be the best of friends again. Dorg 5 org ni mmg mcm family.

Tiba kt satu episode ni, psl Robin & Barney is the sweetest couple ever. Tp tiba2 masing2 berubah perangai. Marshall jd makin gemuk n not being himself, & Robin plak nmpk smkin tua, x bermaya, & irritated dgn setiap perktaan yg klua dr mulut Barney. So kwn2 dorg yg lain ni suspect something so dorg pg siasat.Rupa-rupanya dua org ni x bahagia bersama, tp are too stubborn or afraid to break up. So kwn dorg lancarkan misi nk break them apart dgn sruh dorg asyk gaduh. Last2 tu, dh abis smua cara dorg buat, dorg tgk dr jauh je (spying la), Robin n Barney ni pg tpt lain n started kissing. And dorg pun t

erkejut la. Misi dorg gagal. Maksudnya, whatever they do to them, nothing is gonna work bcuz they are in love. So dorg lupakan misi ni. The next day, dorg jumpa dgn Robin, muka fresh bermekap n ceria. Robin ckp, "I broke up with Barney." Kwn2 dorg terkejut. So Robin crita balik apa jd:

That nite (the nite kwn dorg lancarkan misi), Robin &

Barney saw the things that makes them mad n usually dorg akan gaduh sbb perkara2 kecik2 tu. Pastu dorg cam tetiba tired n ternampak diri dorg kt cermin. Yg ppuannya mcm x bermaya, yg lakinya mcm gemuk gila, to the conclusion, none of them are truly happy. Then dorg tertanya2 la kt masing2, "Why does this happen? I mean, we love each other, we have so much similarity." Then lps crk2 jwpn utk soalan tu, rupanya dorg terlalu byk similarity, smpai xde bnda yg negative utk dorg perfect kan each other. Kira cam magnet, tp dorg the opposite of magnet. HAHA..make sense ke? And the love they have together somehow berkurangan dibawak dek masa. eceh... Oh yg kwn dorg nmpk dorg ksing tu adlh goodbye kiss.haha...and Robin & Barney said that they think of this break up as not the break up between two lover, bcuz that will make it weird when they see each other again as frens, so they take it as friends who come together again (after the break as couple).

Contoh 2:

Aku tgk cerita Ugly Betty plak. Tp tgk part ujung2 je. Hampir semua character dia perlu say goodbye to their partner, to their friend, to their stuff. Part penghabisan, biasanya Betty akan berckp as narator utk bg advice/kata2 hikmah. Kali ni, betty kna bg bf dia pg ke Africa utk tlg org slma 6 bulan so means dat they hve to break up 4 awhile bcuz with no communication. Yg satu lg character ni, Ppuan ni kcewa sbb laki sorg ni menipu n amik duit yg ada n menghilangkan diri pdhl sptutnya kawin. So betty sbgai editor magazine, dia tulis artikel ni:

"There's always something about goodbyes. No matter if we did for the greater good or for someone's good, it always hurt. But no matter how many times it happens, we always have to keep moving on, start a new life, because it will always be coming back. The trick is just to find out when is it the time to let go. Because then only we can start our new beginning."

Contoh 3:

I heard this song. And I will post the lyric. It's from Hannah Montana (I know...pffffttt) but that doesn't matter cuz the lyric is perfect for my situation.

I always knew this day would come
We’d be standing one by one
With our future in our hands
So many dreams so many plans

Always knew after all these years
There’d be laughter there’d be tears
But never thought that I’d walk away
with so much join but so much pain
And it’s so hard to say goodbye

But yesterdays gone we gotta keep moving on
I’m so thankful for the moments so glad I got to know ya
The times that we had I’ll keep like a photograph
And hold you in my heart forever
I’ll always remember you

Nanananana

Another chapter in the book cant go back but you can look
And there we are on every page
Memories I’ll always save
Up ahead on the open doors
Who knows what were heading towards?
I wish you love I wish you luck
For you the world just opens up
But it’s so hard to say goodbye

Yesterdays gone we gotta keep moving on
I’m so thankful for the moments so glad I got to know ya
The times that we had I’ll keep like a photograph
And hold you in my heart forever
I’ll always remember you

Everyday that we had all the good all the bad
I’ll keep them here inside
All the times we shared every place everywhere
You touched my life
Yeah one day we’ll look back we’ll smile and we’ll laughl
But right now we just cry
Cause it’s so hard to say goodbye


Yesterdays gone we gotta keep moving on
I’m so thankful for the moments so glad I got to know ya
The times that we had I’ll keep like a photograph
And hold you in my heart forever
I’ll always remember you

Nanananana

I’ll always remember you
I’ll always remember you

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vFwe11MvCcI

Well, from above, you know now what I've been through. I'm just getting through this on my own. Don't think this is easy for me. All of this prove that I am trying to look for advice, even from TV series. haha..well then, I'll just cater my feelings myself. :)